Dreams for his future

Our oldest wants to be a NCIS agent. I think it's wonderful, how many of us knew with such conviction what we wanted to be. Sometimes we tease him, we'll call him Probie, for those that don't want the show it's the new guy, who also happens to be the techie. I guess it stands for "probation."

But this weekend while driving he and I were talking about it. He asked me if I thought it was stupid. Of course I told him no! Why would it be? I have family that was FBI, Secret Service, Capitol Police, NYPD, and of course John who was a police officer for local, state and federal agencies.

But it got me to thinking about it, just how many times was he told his dreams were stupid, or God forbid, that he was?

So, I've called my friend's parents (who John was also a cop with in Cambridge). I've asked when he's back state-side for him to give me a call to see if he will meet with Day. See, right now, he is NCIS, stationed in Guam. Not only do I want Day to see that an average Joe (yah, literally his name is Joe) can do it, so can he. But I'd also like Joe to tell him what classes to take, what he wishes he did, and what he thinks he could have done without.

A friend recently told me an amazing quote: "Your dreams aren't high enough if someone doesn't laugh at them."

I want all of my boys to place their dreams amongst the stars, and in the end, THEY will be the ones laughing!

Coloring....

Is there anything more peaceful than a child coloring? (Especially when it is not on your chair or wall?)

Is there anything more touching then when given the present of a freshly colored page?

Is there anything else to make a child feel special and loved that moment than hanging their creation on the fridge?

For my Christian friends

A close friend is trying to get her daughter into a private school. 1 of the requirements is to write an essay on when she found God. It made me think, how would I write that?

My answer would be that I didn't have to find God, He was given to me.

I was raised being allowed to go to any church that I wanted, whenever I wanted. Though of course with family that was mostly Catholic Churches. But, I find that totally different than having God in my life.

My Dad raised me with many scripture teachings, to the point in freshman English I knew what my professor was trying to say a certain books theme was; he really should have taught Theology. Even that isn't fully what I mean by being given God.

I was given God in my family. I was given complete, unconditional love. I was given a wonderful family with a fantastic childhood. Being raised with such warmth put in my head how much greater the love God has for me, to have given me so much. I look outside and see the trees, flowers, grass, animals - and think what a wonderful church He created himself, with not a beam, pew, or sound system. And what greater public speaker could there be than He himself? I was told to have a direct relationship with Jesus, and in turn, God himself. When I've had tough times I never blamed God or felt shunned, He didn't do the things to me or "allow" them to happen. He was there for me the whole time. When something wonderful happens I enjoy the moment and give thanks for the opportunity, hoping to share the joy.

It's not something I could easily write in an essay because it is ultimately indescribable.

But I do wonder, how would others explain themselves in this essay? Would they be able to sit down and pound out an clear cut answer? Or do others have a hard time finding the appropriate words to describe such an awe-some relationship they "found?"

5th month

Hard to believe Jamir has been with us for 2 months already! He's such a happy baby! We are spoiling him, it's hard not to hold him (and you all know we did the same with JJ.) His Social Worker said we were giving him high expectations, but you know, he should have them! All kids should!

Gonna do something for myself.....

I did say my New Year's Resolution was to do more for myself! And John's been so wonderful offering up times! From the scrapping days with friends, upcoming outlet shopping with just the girls, letting me plan a girls weekend away (guilt free) and even offering to take off & keep the boys so I could go to an adult-only family function next weekend. I love that he's been so supportive. It's not that he wasn't before, I just didn't ask that much.

I've always wanted to do Glamour shots, and a friend's friend is a local photographer who will do them at a much better price than the actual stores, and IMO, her pictures just POP. I also love that her style is so close to my secret desire for the 50's pin-up style pictures! But she doesn't just do the type of pics on her page, she's amazing with kids too!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Snow-Hill-MD/Sweetest-Sin-Photography/298665926327?ref=mf

On that same note, I also already know who will be doing Day's senior pics next year. Her natural light photography is gorgeous, such a soft effect! She's the talent behind the pics I've posted here of JJ and bragged on her about. I want to get family pictures done once the weather gets nicer and all the colors come out. Gotta get on the ball and get up with her soon!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Salisbury-MD/Bluebug-Photography/25084127940?ref=mf

There's so much local talent!

not why we foster.....

I just want to put out there, we are not fostering so I can stay home. I am not quitting my job. I like what I do, who I work with, and I think I'd go crazy home again, I was really close the last time, and as John can tell you, probably about to take him with me. It's also not for the money, anyone with a teenager can tell you that they are expensive, I can assure you the money goes right back to the kids. We don't turn in mileage vouchers or reimbursements for the trainings that we could be paid back for. That is NOT the reason we are doing this! Even John's "acting supervisor" made an off-hand comment about how we aren't raising the kids because we are being paid for them! WTF?! This man has 5 kids of his own, but its telling to the type of Dad he must be! I know some people might mean well, they aren't trying to be crass, but it still bothers me. Do we really seem like THAT types? I guess all-in-all, it kinda offends me.

We are doing this because we want to help and we have room in our family to add-on. We get so much out of this emotionally, which I have thanked our Social Worker for. I stand by the fact that anything you do in life is for selfish purposes, even helping others, it's because it gives you pleasure or purpose. So, yeah, it's self-serving, but not the way some people think. There's much more to life than money, I wish others felt the same way! Our government puts the value on those pieces of paper, but they could not place the value on what we have in our household.

Ok, thanks for listening. I feel better for the rant (again.)

Public Speaking

I always hated public speaking. When I had to give oral reports in school I cringed. My 5th grade graduation speech stunk, I was so nervous. In college to make things slightly easier I'd pick off the wall topics, giving myself some bravado, that the topics would be a little more interesting (sexual education, transmissions of diseases sexually, bilingual education and myths.)
So, now, Social Services has asked me to speak twice for them this month! The 1st is to help teach a class on Lifebooks, basically photo albums for children in placement which DSS wants foster parents to do with/for them. I'm excited about that one, I love scrap-booking, as I think is pretty clear. I've always loved photos, its memories of happy times and when you have a picture of someone, it means they hold some importance in your life. I think Lifebooks is a great things for kids, it can give them a sense of history, but also a sense of belonging.
The 2nd request is to speak at a PRIDE class. Those are the same classes we went through 2 years ago to become foster parents. Our social worker asked us to speak to share our experiences. John will unfortunately be out of the state until later that same night, but I'm all game to go in there with the 3 boys and tell the other parents what a wonderful opportunity they have in front of them, how much they will get out of it!
While I look forward to both opportunities, I'm also still a little nervous. I don't know these people, they don't know how I'm kinda quirky. Will they take me the wrong way? Will I just flub up because of butterflies? Think I better read up on public speaking some.
But, I do have to say, I feel very honored to be asked to do these 2 things!

Some scrap pages...

I haven't posted scrap pages in awhile! Here's some digi-pages I've done recently:

The Duggars news - I take offense

Someone brought it up at work, then I saw the magazine at the grocery store. People are asking when is it too much, basically stating the Duggars should stop having kids. What right do they have to question it? They aren't popping the babies out, they aren't putting a roof over their heads or food in their bellies. They aren't waking up in the middle of the night for a fever, a nightmare, or just to nurse. And their tax dollars aren't paying for the children either! The Duggars sustain themselves, sheesh, your tax dollars aren't even going to educate them, they are all home-schooled! My grandparents did it, they had 21 kids, raised 20, all without public-assistance, and yes, it was available back then. And do you know how friggin AWESOME it is to be a part of such a large family? Not just for family get-togethers, but also in the hard times, there's always someone there for you, you know you're never alone! I was so glad to share my family with John, he used to thank me after family affairs, something he hadn't really had. I'm thrilled that its something I can share with the boys and any other kids that come into our lives! It's a blessing that no one else can understand unless you've lived it and quite frankly, anyone else can just butt their opinions out! Sorry, I do take it personally, its as if they are talking about MY family at the same time.

Now, you want to complain, focus on the Octo-mom, go right ahead, your tax dollars are supporting her kids - ie, her plastic surgery addiction. 14 kids and she wants more for everyone else to support.

The baby

The little guy (nicknamed Booger, just for fun since JJ is Goober) is just so precious! He's gaining weight now that he's eating at level and the crying turned into constant smiles! Of course we're all attached! Anyone would be! It will be so hard to see him go if the judge decides he will go back to mom next week. But, we knew this getting in, and there will be more kids. We're going to get attached if we are to be the home life that DSS wants for these kids! Until the next child is placed with our family I will just focus on helping DSS teach the Lifebooks class next month as well as looking into "field trip" opportunities like the one to Medieval Times that I passed the info to our Social Worker on. It's so rewarding, like buying Day his 1st professional pics last month and planning his 1st Easter basket in April! I love these kids and I know we are blessed to have this opportunity to share our home and lives with them!

Snow, snow and more snow

I went in to work yesterday for all of 30 minutes, thankful I went in because I got paid for the full day without having to use personal or vacation time! I'm off once again today! Yah! An extra "weekend" with the guys! I'm really sick of the snow though, it has been going on way too long! We couldn't get together with my family before Xmas because of it and we've yet to have our family time! The past couple weekends we were stuck in the house, and while I love my job it still felt bad to only be able to go to work then be stuck home on my days off. The boys are enjoying it, but it also means with each snow day from school 1 more day before we leave in the summer to see my brother in Texas. I'm really not meant for it, out of 6 kids I'm the only one stuck where it hits? Where temps get so low? And of course, I'm the one with no insulation. Sheesh, the cold even followed us to Florida at Xmas! Oh, well. Looks like we will get more Monday so I'm just going to suck it up and deal. I do admit, it is pretty, but that's all I will concede.

Day off

How come a day off feels SO much different than a weekend? I'm home today, school and daycare were both closed for our foster-sons. Honestly, I was scared to go on the roads anyway, all the news said this morning was how they were all ice and snow on the backroads, the main roads were just "ok." I love working, but its not worth a life! So, I'll enjoy an extra day home with the 3 guys.
While watching morning TV the only thing I can think is how much I don't care about Brad & Angelina's relationship. Like my mom, I don't like them as it is, but for different reasons. Of course the fidelity issue doen't help them, but all I think is how charity begins at home and not 1 child have they adopted from their own country. They could be such role-models and help the waiting children here, but instead to me they seem to go after internation attention. Ok, I know, I'm being rather harsh, but I feel just a little cynical about Hollywood.

Fun firsts....

There's nothing better than having Day tell me we need to have the candied sweet potatoes more often, they are REALLY good. Then after he had his 1st snow-cream he tells me how he needs to have the "recipe" so when he goes out he can do it too. They are both foods that have memories of my mom attached, so it makes it all the sweeter knowing I'm carrying on her love!
Now can't wait to get out tomorrow and hopefully build a snowman! John and I are going to have to take turns out with Day & JJ, so 1 of us is in the house with Jamir of course. There's nothing better than having so many people to share your life with, having so many people who want to share their lives with you too!

My mother's daughter

When my husband tells me that dinner was "good, really good actually" I can't help but get a little glow, a happiness from not only knowing I did something for my guys, but it was something they appreciated, its a double treat! It's the same feeling when I hand a piece of jewelry over to a friend that I made, it makes me feel good to not only do something nice for someone I care about, but to know they like it makes it feel all the more special! Now I know why my Mom took all the time cooking, making pillows, doing alterations, etc. for family and friends. My dad was wrong, she wasn't allowing anyone to take advantage of her, she had her own motives/motivations, and they were all good for all involved!

Hope he/she is happy.....

There's someone out there walking around with my foster-son's MP3 player and ear buds. I hope it makes them feel special, stealing 1 of the few possessions a child has had for them self. That's ok, your due will come, karma is a puta, and you know, its all good, you just gave my boy a lesson on taking care of things so that when he has bigger and brighter things than you in life he will know their worth, he will know to appreciate them. Again, thanks, enjoy your ill-gotten gains. Hope it shorts out in your ears.