A "good quality" hurts the worse

I'm the type of person I will give you the shirt off my back in a heartbeat. I WANT to do it, the same my mom did. But on that same note, I hurt just like my mom did when I feel unappreciated, or under-valued by those I care about. Right now, as some may know, there have been issues in regards to my Dad. Most know it was rally my mom who raised me. My dad was the type who if I wanted to spend time with him, it was on his territory - watching boxing, football, going fishing, or a walk in the woods. Sheesh, I even gutted a deer with him and that was not because I WANTED to! Now, my mom, we were the best of friends! Shopping each week, trips to see family to parties, talks, movies, card games, etc. She disciplined me and taught me my values. I was jipped when she passed away, and frankly so was JJ. But, because I spent so much time with her, I am like her - I pay for my dad's phone, but he can never call me. I send him candy, books, movies, etc but he can't send me a birthday card. As soon as we get to his house at 6:30 at night, he's out the door to his girlfriend, twice that same night! She got mad because he only went over for 15 minutes the second time so he told me he had to stay later the next time! What about me? I live 16 hours away and only see him a total of 7 days out of the year! And we all knew he was bad with money, so what do we do, John and I both buy him groceries while we are there, and not even a thank you! He can go on 2 cruises this past year, but not once will he come visit me. He will buy his girlfriend things hand over fist (blowing 6 figure!) but he says he won't buy me stuff because we make more he can ever make.
But, the thing about me that makes me want to do so much is the same part that allows me to hurt so much when I don't feel special to him. I'm not asking for anything in return really, just to acknowledge that I am his flesh and blood! I can't stop myself from doing stuff for him, I love him, I am his daughter, I'm supposed to care for him and there's nothing I can do to stop that. But, how in the world can I stop it from hurting me?
We've been home almost a week now. He has not even called to see that we made it home safely, let alone just to say "hi."