I often have nightmares associated with something happening and I am not with my boys. The feelings linger for days afterward. I've had alien invasion dreams where I am with John but across town, trying to figure how to be with my boys. I have had natural disaster dreams where once again, I was desperately trying to get to them. It is always before court. I know it reflects the helplessness I feel in regards to Day & Jammers. And yes, a few days ago I was served a summons for court for Day coming up. And we are waiting for a court date for Jammers. So I really shouldn't be surprised of my dream last night.
My dad was driving a large SUV down the road we lived on growing up, my mom sitting front passenger, I was behind her and behind my dad was supposed to be Jammers, I knew I saw him in his car seat next to me then he was gone. We drove up to our old house looking for him and there was a pack of beagles barking, which is comfort to me because my dad bred beagles. I was about to get out of the truck when a LARGE (I'm talking as large as the SUV) gray & white wolf comes up to the door. My mom had been about to get out as well and "Prissy" jumped out. Not her Prissy, but my dad's current white dog who he also calls Prissy. I am opening and closing my door so my mom can get the dog and close her door, because the wolf seems fixated on me. I woke up not long after.
I looked it up and the wolf would "reflect an uncontrollable situation or an all-consuming force in your life." I can put that on my mom's death, my dad's life so far away, and of course Jammers. Losing a child signifies feeling overwhelmed. Well, that's a given with teen angst, sick little ones, being sick myself, upcoming dates, etc.
I couldn't believe how well it fit.
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