not why we foster.....

I just want to put out there, we are not fostering so I can stay home. I am not quitting my job. I like what I do, who I work with, and I think I'd go crazy home again, I was really close the last time, and as John can tell you, probably about to take him with me. It's also not for the money, anyone with a teenager can tell you that they are expensive, I can assure you the money goes right back to the kids. We don't turn in mileage vouchers or reimbursements for the trainings that we could be paid back for. That is NOT the reason we are doing this! Even John's "acting supervisor" made an off-hand comment about how we aren't raising the kids because we are being paid for them! WTF?! This man has 5 kids of his own, but its telling to the type of Dad he must be! I know some people might mean well, they aren't trying to be crass, but it still bothers me. Do we really seem like THAT types? I guess all-in-all, it kinda offends me.

We are doing this because we want to help and we have room in our family to add-on. We get so much out of this emotionally, which I have thanked our Social Worker for. I stand by the fact that anything you do in life is for selfish purposes, even helping others, it's because it gives you pleasure or purpose. So, yeah, it's self-serving, but not the way some people think. There's much more to life than money, I wish others felt the same way! Our government puts the value on those pieces of paper, but they could not place the value on what we have in our household.

Ok, thanks for listening. I feel better for the rant (again.)

Public Speaking

I always hated public speaking. When I had to give oral reports in school I cringed. My 5th grade graduation speech stunk, I was so nervous. In college to make things slightly easier I'd pick off the wall topics, giving myself some bravado, that the topics would be a little more interesting (sexual education, transmissions of diseases sexually, bilingual education and myths.)
So, now, Social Services has asked me to speak twice for them this month! The 1st is to help teach a class on Lifebooks, basically photo albums for children in placement which DSS wants foster parents to do with/for them. I'm excited about that one, I love scrap-booking, as I think is pretty clear. I've always loved photos, its memories of happy times and when you have a picture of someone, it means they hold some importance in your life. I think Lifebooks is a great things for kids, it can give them a sense of history, but also a sense of belonging.
The 2nd request is to speak at a PRIDE class. Those are the same classes we went through 2 years ago to become foster parents. Our social worker asked us to speak to share our experiences. John will unfortunately be out of the state until later that same night, but I'm all game to go in there with the 3 boys and tell the other parents what a wonderful opportunity they have in front of them, how much they will get out of it!
While I look forward to both opportunities, I'm also still a little nervous. I don't know these people, they don't know how I'm kinda quirky. Will they take me the wrong way? Will I just flub up because of butterflies? Think I better read up on public speaking some.
But, I do have to say, I feel very honored to be asked to do these 2 things!

Some scrap pages...

I haven't posted scrap pages in awhile! Here's some digi-pages I've done recently:

The Duggars news - I take offense

Someone brought it up at work, then I saw the magazine at the grocery store. People are asking when is it too much, basically stating the Duggars should stop having kids. What right do they have to question it? They aren't popping the babies out, they aren't putting a roof over their heads or food in their bellies. They aren't waking up in the middle of the night for a fever, a nightmare, or just to nurse. And their tax dollars aren't paying for the children either! The Duggars sustain themselves, sheesh, your tax dollars aren't even going to educate them, they are all home-schooled! My grandparents did it, they had 21 kids, raised 20, all without public-assistance, and yes, it was available back then. And do you know how friggin AWESOME it is to be a part of such a large family? Not just for family get-togethers, but also in the hard times, there's always someone there for you, you know you're never alone! I was so glad to share my family with John, he used to thank me after family affairs, something he hadn't really had. I'm thrilled that its something I can share with the boys and any other kids that come into our lives! It's a blessing that no one else can understand unless you've lived it and quite frankly, anyone else can just butt their opinions out! Sorry, I do take it personally, its as if they are talking about MY family at the same time.

Now, you want to complain, focus on the Octo-mom, go right ahead, your tax dollars are supporting her kids - ie, her plastic surgery addiction. 14 kids and she wants more for everyone else to support.

The baby

The little guy (nicknamed Booger, just for fun since JJ is Goober) is just so precious! He's gaining weight now that he's eating at level and the crying turned into constant smiles! Of course we're all attached! Anyone would be! It will be so hard to see him go if the judge decides he will go back to mom next week. But, we knew this getting in, and there will be more kids. We're going to get attached if we are to be the home life that DSS wants for these kids! Until the next child is placed with our family I will just focus on helping DSS teach the Lifebooks class next month as well as looking into "field trip" opportunities like the one to Medieval Times that I passed the info to our Social Worker on. It's so rewarding, like buying Day his 1st professional pics last month and planning his 1st Easter basket in April! I love these kids and I know we are blessed to have this opportunity to share our home and lives with them!

Snow, snow and more snow

I went in to work yesterday for all of 30 minutes, thankful I went in because I got paid for the full day without having to use personal or vacation time! I'm off once again today! Yah! An extra "weekend" with the guys! I'm really sick of the snow though, it has been going on way too long! We couldn't get together with my family before Xmas because of it and we've yet to have our family time! The past couple weekends we were stuck in the house, and while I love my job it still felt bad to only be able to go to work then be stuck home on my days off. The boys are enjoying it, but it also means with each snow day from school 1 more day before we leave in the summer to see my brother in Texas. I'm really not meant for it, out of 6 kids I'm the only one stuck where it hits? Where temps get so low? And of course, I'm the one with no insulation. Sheesh, the cold even followed us to Florida at Xmas! Oh, well. Looks like we will get more Monday so I'm just going to suck it up and deal. I do admit, it is pretty, but that's all I will concede.

Day off

How come a day off feels SO much different than a weekend? I'm home today, school and daycare were both closed for our foster-sons. Honestly, I was scared to go on the roads anyway, all the news said this morning was how they were all ice and snow on the backroads, the main roads were just "ok." I love working, but its not worth a life! So, I'll enjoy an extra day home with the 3 guys.
While watching morning TV the only thing I can think is how much I don't care about Brad & Angelina's relationship. Like my mom, I don't like them as it is, but for different reasons. Of course the fidelity issue doen't help them, but all I think is how charity begins at home and not 1 child have they adopted from their own country. They could be such role-models and help the waiting children here, but instead to me they seem to go after internation attention. Ok, I know, I'm being rather harsh, but I feel just a little cynical about Hollywood.

Fun firsts....

There's nothing better than having Day tell me we need to have the candied sweet potatoes more often, they are REALLY good. Then after he had his 1st snow-cream he tells me how he needs to have the "recipe" so when he goes out he can do it too. They are both foods that have memories of my mom attached, so it makes it all the sweeter knowing I'm carrying on her love!
Now can't wait to get out tomorrow and hopefully build a snowman! John and I are going to have to take turns out with Day & JJ, so 1 of us is in the house with Jamir of course. There's nothing better than having so many people to share your life with, having so many people who want to share their lives with you too!

My mother's daughter

When my husband tells me that dinner was "good, really good actually" I can't help but get a little glow, a happiness from not only knowing I did something for my guys, but it was something they appreciated, its a double treat! It's the same feeling when I hand a piece of jewelry over to a friend that I made, it makes me feel good to not only do something nice for someone I care about, but to know they like it makes it feel all the more special! Now I know why my Mom took all the time cooking, making pillows, doing alterations, etc. for family and friends. My dad was wrong, she wasn't allowing anyone to take advantage of her, she had her own motives/motivations, and they were all good for all involved!

Hope he/she is happy.....

There's someone out there walking around with my foster-son's MP3 player and ear buds. I hope it makes them feel special, stealing 1 of the few possessions a child has had for them self. That's ok, your due will come, karma is a puta, and you know, its all good, you just gave my boy a lesson on taking care of things so that when he has bigger and brighter things than you in life he will know their worth, he will know to appreciate them. Again, thanks, enjoy your ill-gotten gains. Hope it shorts out in your ears.

Where you going to wear that to?

Went through a couple outfits where John kept asking where was I going to wear this or that to. I listened and would give things away. He said it 1 last time a few months ago. I told him not to worry about it, I'd wear it to the mall or where-ever else I wanted. We arrived separately to JJ's birthday party, he didn't see this til I walked in. He was not complaining! I am done worrying about what anyone thinks about my clothes, him included! Wish I would've felt this way in school!

Thursday Tidbits

I'm behind, the girls in my mom's group brought this up a little while ago, I just looked at it and got the laugh I needed!
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

John and I are getting some DJ stuff on the net. So far I started a facebook page, its in the infant stages, but if you're even been around when he DJed or just want updates, you can find him on facebook under DJFlip Mendoza.

And, my tree is still up. It will get packed away this weekend. But snicker at me all you want, I know for a fact there are still others up too LOL.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday! I want to sleep in! Then I get to go out for a few with a friend, and the next day scrap with another, and hopefully the next day catch a football game with yet another!

A "good quality" hurts the worse

I'm the type of person I will give you the shirt off my back in a heartbeat. I WANT to do it, the same my mom did. But on that same note, I hurt just like my mom did when I feel unappreciated, or under-valued by those I care about. Right now, as some may know, there have been issues in regards to my Dad. Most know it was rally my mom who raised me. My dad was the type who if I wanted to spend time with him, it was on his territory - watching boxing, football, going fishing, or a walk in the woods. Sheesh, I even gutted a deer with him and that was not because I WANTED to! Now, my mom, we were the best of friends! Shopping each week, trips to see family to parties, talks, movies, card games, etc. She disciplined me and taught me my values. I was jipped when she passed away, and frankly so was JJ. But, because I spent so much time with her, I am like her - I pay for my dad's phone, but he can never call me. I send him candy, books, movies, etc but he can't send me a birthday card. As soon as we get to his house at 6:30 at night, he's out the door to his girlfriend, twice that same night! She got mad because he only went over for 15 minutes the second time so he told me he had to stay later the next time! What about me? I live 16 hours away and only see him a total of 7 days out of the year! And we all knew he was bad with money, so what do we do, John and I both buy him groceries while we are there, and not even a thank you! He can go on 2 cruises this past year, but not once will he come visit me. He will buy his girlfriend things hand over fist (blowing 6 figure!) but he says he won't buy me stuff because we make more he can ever make.
But, the thing about me that makes me want to do so much is the same part that allows me to hurt so much when I don't feel special to him. I'm not asking for anything in return really, just to acknowledge that I am his flesh and blood! I can't stop myself from doing stuff for him, I love him, I am his daughter, I'm supposed to care for him and there's nothing I can do to stop that. But, how in the world can I stop it from hurting me?
We've been home almost a week now. He has not even called to see that we made it home safely, let alone just to say "hi."

Oh, how Texas makes me so happy....

I'm going to get right to the big deal, my brother only has 6 days left in Iraq! I'm so happy he will be getting out soon and will be stateside, in TEXAS! We are already planning our trip out this summer! I can't wait! It will be almost 3 years since I saw Joe, I miss him so much, this trip has me counting down when school lets out with much more enthusiasm than Day has himself! Gotta find some boots since I gave my last pair away, you know what they say, when in Rome.....

Next, much more trivial, is my Cowboys - gotta love the football nights in our house, John was even rooting for them for me tonight, must've worked, they shut out Philly for the Division title! To top it off, JJ told me last night he wants to root for the Cowboys too, what a proud momma that makes me ;) Now, since John said he's given up on his Deadskins, I just need to work on him coming over to the Blue side, as well as helping Day choose the right football team to cheer for.

Happy New Year!

Hope everyone started their New Year out the way they want the year to go! Unfortunately I really hope that's not true, I barely registered my hubby kissing my cheek while I tried to shut out the light with the blanket, thanks all to a mini-migraine. Better now at least.
I'm glad not to make the resolution this year to quit smoking. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed to "keep the quit" instead. Thanks to all those who have helped me with quitting. The support in all aspects of life boosts me up!
So, instead for this year I'm going to resolve to do more calming things to help me not want to smoke. More scrapping (and getting back into the digital side of it) more jewelry for fun (not just because of gift giving times) and I want to get the sewing machine back out and do a little more with it (I already have 2 purses in mind to make out of this awesome material I have.)
I also think all those board games need to go to use, the commercials for family game night need to be tested out. I have great memories from growing up of Monopoly, rummy, and pitch. The video games need a rest - though I do plan on getting Sing Star to annoy John ;)
Figured these resolutions will be easy to keep this year, all fun stuff!