That's not a wallet or a purse.....

When out in public and a woman pulls a wallet or cards out of her bra, I want to scream that's not a purse! I cringe to watch as a stranger to this woman has to take whatever is being handed to her. I get the willies just thinking about it. Come on, a dark, sometimes dank, area! It's one thing if you are hiding money there on a shopping trip, but to use your boobs as a general carry all, uh, no thank you.

Hit the beach

We are going to visit friends tomorrow at the beach. It's always a treat to see friends, they are truly wonderful people! And it gives us an opportunity to get some Thrashers and Candy Kitchen (I'm addicted to their fudge!) It's supposed to be really nice, with temps hitting 85 there. I've been truly antsy to go all week. Can't wait for the boys to have a blast. This will of course be the baby's 1st time to put his feet in the sand, and Day's 3rd time for being there ever (the 2nd was Winterfest of Lights, a quite different type of beach trip.)

Out of the mouth of a 17 year old....

Day and I were talking tonight about his dad. I had made a comment "when your kids ask about their grandfather....." And he said he will tell him their grandfather is John.

What a way to bring tears to my eyes!

I don't ever want him to close the door to his family, but it's nice that we are his family too!

Why always the weekend?

How come Monday through Friday we have to drag the kids out of bed, but on the weekends they wake up on their own accord, even earlier?

Spring weekends

Anyone remember, way back when we were in school, the week would be gorgeous, then the weekend rolled around.... cold or rainy.

It's happening again.

Least now I have the foresight to know it WILL get and stay warmer. (Just wish it was sooner!)

And maybe, it's natures way of saying rest up from a hectic week.

I find myself asking....

Are you proud of me? I try my best, sometimes I stumble, many times it's because my foot is in my mouth. But with everything I do, I always ask, mom, are you proud of me? I wish I could personally share good news, like today's phone call and mailed invitation that we were chosen as Foster Parents of the Year for Somerset County, but I know you are here with us for each and every moment, and I hope, with every breath, I'm all you wanted for me to become.

Silly rabbit...

Anyone else feel bad for the rabbit, being told for decades that Trix are just for kids? It's CEREAL, give the bunny a break and let him have some! Really now, what about equality? The bunny has the bowl, but because he's not like you, you snatch it right out of his hands? Lovely message for our kids. (Sorry, I'm just in a weird mood.)

ask and you shall receive.....

I remember a couple times, when times must've been tough, something came up to change the situation, and my mom would say that when you live right God always provides. I'm taking the offer I got today as I'm doing something right. Maybe it's ego-centric to think that way, but I really appreciate the opportunity, one that came to me by no initiation of my own, as a sign that something is being done right in our household (since it came at a time when things are going right for John as well.)

Memory attachments

Have you ever noticed how some things just have memories attached to them? How you will hold or smell something and think of someone?

I can't open a can of peaches or chew Juicy fruit gum without thinking of my "Popeye." Someone mentions asparagus and I automatically recall my mom retelling the story of me saying how I wanted to have "those funny green beans" more often. Strawberries make me think of all the times we'd go picking for my birthday, and how I'd normally get so sick from eating more than I put in the basket. I sit and color with JJ and think about the books upon books that my grandmother kept for ALL of us grandkids to color in (and since I was the last, those books were quite old, and quite colored in, by the time I got to use them.) I look at checkers or eat the white of sunny-side up eggs and think of my grandpop.

I think of all the little, mundane things we touch daily in life and how we unconsciously attach people to those things in our brains.

It makes me wonder all of the inconsequential things in our lives that will leave an impression on my boys and make them think of me.

The things you can't plan our are the things that make the biggest, lasting impact.

Spoiled?

This seems to have come up a lot lately....

Day told me today he's been told at school that he's spoiled. I remember what my mom told me, it's just jealousy, and yeah, that's probably what he's facing. We do live in a poorer (high taxed) area, so what he has is more than a lot. But it's not more than he deserves. It's just a shame because all those other kids deserve it just the same, all kids do.

Now myself, I was told this week by a coworker I was spoiled. Not in a bad conversation, someone else asked where I got a necklace, told her John got it at Friedman's for Valentine's Day for me. She said she got 1 on Canal Street (NY) for her daughter, a Tiffany knock-off. That's where I saw the style myself and asked for 1. That same night I came home later than normal, John asked me what I was eating, then offered to go get me Chinese. Yeah, I guess I am. And I thank God for John every day! After being the center of my Mom's world, I would be lost now if I didn't have him to dote on me. My Mom used to tell me all the time growing up that I was spoiled, just not rotten (she said I appreciated what I was given.)

It's a shame that the word has to have such a bad meaning behind it. Being given things in life does not come with the price tag of having a bad personality. Being self-centered or having a sense of entitlement is taught, and unfortunately, and those attitudes are across all economic brackets!

So, ok, I'm spoiled, and I see nothing wrong with any of my boys being the same!

Dreams for his future

Our oldest wants to be a NCIS agent. I think it's wonderful, how many of us knew with such conviction what we wanted to be. Sometimes we tease him, we'll call him Probie, for those that don't want the show it's the new guy, who also happens to be the techie. I guess it stands for "probation."

But this weekend while driving he and I were talking about it. He asked me if I thought it was stupid. Of course I told him no! Why would it be? I have family that was FBI, Secret Service, Capitol Police, NYPD, and of course John who was a police officer for local, state and federal agencies.

But it got me to thinking about it, just how many times was he told his dreams were stupid, or God forbid, that he was?

So, I've called my friend's parents (who John was also a cop with in Cambridge). I've asked when he's back state-side for him to give me a call to see if he will meet with Day. See, right now, he is NCIS, stationed in Guam. Not only do I want Day to see that an average Joe (yah, literally his name is Joe) can do it, so can he. But I'd also like Joe to tell him what classes to take, what he wishes he did, and what he thinks he could have done without.

A friend recently told me an amazing quote: "Your dreams aren't high enough if someone doesn't laugh at them."

I want all of my boys to place their dreams amongst the stars, and in the end, THEY will be the ones laughing!

Coloring....

Is there anything more peaceful than a child coloring? (Especially when it is not on your chair or wall?)

Is there anything more touching then when given the present of a freshly colored page?

Is there anything else to make a child feel special and loved that moment than hanging their creation on the fridge?

For my Christian friends

A close friend is trying to get her daughter into a private school. 1 of the requirements is to write an essay on when she found God. It made me think, how would I write that?

My answer would be that I didn't have to find God, He was given to me.

I was raised being allowed to go to any church that I wanted, whenever I wanted. Though of course with family that was mostly Catholic Churches. But, I find that totally different than having God in my life.

My Dad raised me with many scripture teachings, to the point in freshman English I knew what my professor was trying to say a certain books theme was; he really should have taught Theology. Even that isn't fully what I mean by being given God.

I was given God in my family. I was given complete, unconditional love. I was given a wonderful family with a fantastic childhood. Being raised with such warmth put in my head how much greater the love God has for me, to have given me so much. I look outside and see the trees, flowers, grass, animals - and think what a wonderful church He created himself, with not a beam, pew, or sound system. And what greater public speaker could there be than He himself? I was told to have a direct relationship with Jesus, and in turn, God himself. When I've had tough times I never blamed God or felt shunned, He didn't do the things to me or "allow" them to happen. He was there for me the whole time. When something wonderful happens I enjoy the moment and give thanks for the opportunity, hoping to share the joy.

It's not something I could easily write in an essay because it is ultimately indescribable.

But I do wonder, how would others explain themselves in this essay? Would they be able to sit down and pound out an clear cut answer? Or do others have a hard time finding the appropriate words to describe such an awe-some relationship they "found?"

5th month

Hard to believe Jamir has been with us for 2 months already! He's such a happy baby! We are spoiling him, it's hard not to hold him (and you all know we did the same with JJ.) His Social Worker said we were giving him high expectations, but you know, he should have them! All kids should!

Gonna do something for myself.....

I did say my New Year's Resolution was to do more for myself! And John's been so wonderful offering up times! From the scrapping days with friends, upcoming outlet shopping with just the girls, letting me plan a girls weekend away (guilt free) and even offering to take off & keep the boys so I could go to an adult-only family function next weekend. I love that he's been so supportive. It's not that he wasn't before, I just didn't ask that much.

I've always wanted to do Glamour shots, and a friend's friend is a local photographer who will do them at a much better price than the actual stores, and IMO, her pictures just POP. I also love that her style is so close to my secret desire for the 50's pin-up style pictures! But she doesn't just do the type of pics on her page, she's amazing with kids too!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Snow-Hill-MD/Sweetest-Sin-Photography/298665926327?ref=mf

On that same note, I also already know who will be doing Day's senior pics next year. Her natural light photography is gorgeous, such a soft effect! She's the talent behind the pics I've posted here of JJ and bragged on her about. I want to get family pictures done once the weather gets nicer and all the colors come out. Gotta get on the ball and get up with her soon!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Salisbury-MD/Bluebug-Photography/25084127940?ref=mf

There's so much local talent!