Can I handle it?

John and I were talking about my flying down for a weekend, then he asked me to fly down by myself for his graduation and drive back up with him. Oh, what a thought, not to drive down "by myself" with the kids! It's a long drive and I was not looking forward to it. I feel guilty, not taking the kids, and Day was looking forward to it, but his grades are up and down, depending on if he wants them up, so he really shouldn't be missing any school in the 1st place. I haven't been away from JJ except 1 night when i had a sleep study done, yes, 1 night, and yes, he will be 5 in 2 months. I so need some time to myself and some time with John, but I wonder, will I be able to enjoy it or will I feel guilty over not taking the kids? Will I worry about how they are doing the whole time? I'm not supposed to feel this way, I'm allowed some time to myself in life! Curse my upbringing haha.