Family Reunion

5 years ago we had a reunion of my mom's side of the family. I didn't get a copy of the picture below until a cousin posted on Facebook. This was only a fraction of the remaining 15 siblings (originally 21) but still a large group!

It makes me anticipate the family reunion this summer for my dad's side of the family! I will have to find a large double frame for this photo and the group one planned by the professional photographer.

J, always good for a laugh.....

There is no doubt that J has no filter, and is quite unique in his view of the world. The other day someone (in a professional capacity) asked Shy what her plans for the future were. J pipes in and says how Shy says Justin Bieber is going to be her future husband. And no, he didn't think that "aspiration" was serious, that was why he said it!

The night before I had dinner delivered, which J had to help by opening the door. No biggie there, except he was wearing a princess dress (and no, we don't care about his variety of play, it means nothing, even if it did mean something it means nothing to us.) I guess the delivery guy gave J a funny look because J tells him "worry about yourself, don't worry about me."

Someone told me he will be fine, he will either conform to fit into what other people expect, or he won't conform because he just doesn't care. I have to say, I hope it is the latter. I am glad he is unique and not scared of what others think! I would rather he have the step ahead, because face it, eventually we all reach the point where we live for ourselves, no longer worrying about pleasing everyone else or what they might think of us. I want him to have that step ahead and be himself forever!

The Governor and my oldest

   There are many times I know I am missing out by not being able to follow Day around (some things I am better off not knowing haha.) Last year it was when he spoke to foster parents and social workers at a day long meeting - a friend who attended told me about it. Around that same time he also spoke to social workers, and one texted me that he had her in tears. Today he and his Youth Advisory group meet with our Governor to request change to benefit other foster kids. Many might think it is just a fluff meeting, but these kids do push along change! I have seen many of their requests change policy since Day came to us over 3 years ago!
   Day is nervous, and probably uncomfortable in his suit (but I'm glad to know it is going to good use!) But, as I reminded him, he has already been in the Governor's home for an awards ceremony we attended a few years ago, and met his wife, which we have the photograph from. He is just as much a person like the rest of us. And I have seen him speak to prospective foster parents, so I do know how well he handles himself!
   Even though I can't be there, I am so proud of him!

The by-product of Martin Luther King JR's dream

   Most have heard the "I Have a Dream" speech and others have had the privilege to stand on the spot in front of the Lincoln Memorial where Dr. King spoke those now famous words (I know we have.) But it has not touched the lives of most as it has mine, and that of my family, something which I take for granted most times, but J, at 7 years old, brought it to the forefront thanks to a lesson plan in school.

   Schools can only gloss over our history in the early grades, it's a wonder J even came home with the question as to why he was killed. And while it was oh SO hard to explain to him that sometimes people don't like others based on their skin color, it is also still unavoidable because there are still people out there who feel this way. So while he grasped that "tan and brown" people were kept apart because some felt brown people weren't as good, and some didn't like Dr. King's fight for equality, I was mainly able to bring home the point that if that fight had not been fought, he would not have the siblings that he does, and quite frankly he would not even be here himself.

Because a few people spoke up, it changed our country. While it didn't change who my parents were, neither grew up racist (and as I was a late baby, they were in their 20's during desegregation), so it didn't lead them to raise me that way, it did give me many blessings in the form of my children and my marriage, that I never would have experienced. So, while anyone else out there will still have their own opinions, I know they are the ones missing out on so much, even just one friendship that could enrich their lives beyond their imagination.

Thank you Dr. King, I can't imagine you expected my family as part of your dream, but it is more than I could have dreamed for when I first heard your speech as a child!

 *As a side note, we do not use the colors black and white to describe people, those are the colors of crayons, not people. In reality, we are all different shades of brown anyway.*

from my belly, or my heart

J is at the age where sibling rivalry has kicked in, especially in regards to T. J pronounces quite proudly that he is the only child to come out of my belly. I tell him yes, and he is just as special as my other kids, and while he did grow in my belly, they grew in my heart. T has been quietly listening, and yesterday told me "J came out of your belly mommy, but I came out of your heart."
I can't help but remember the story from my own childhood of a little boy trying to belittle a little girl who was adopted. The retort from the child was her parents chose her, but the other kid's parents were stuck with him.
Hopefully my kids all know each way is as special and valued as the other for entering our family!

Warm Holiday greetings, literally

   Just about last minute, we decided to play snow-birds for Christmas. Yes, while our local friends and family dealt with (albeit seasonal) weather for the holidays, we enjoyed the Florida climate once again this year. Gotta love short sleeves and shorts for Santa's visit!
   It was also a perfect decision because a couple other of my Northern cousins had the same idea, one of which I hadn't seen in over 5 years! We all met at my Aunt's house for Christmas, my first with that side of the family since I was 9! The next day we also utilized the time together for us "girls" to get together and go over old photographs that were my grandmothers, in prep for our family reunion in the coming year, while our husbands went out golfing, John's first time. Yes, I wish I could have been a fly on the golf cart then! But he enjoyed himself so much he is already looking for his own set of clubs.

Santa Time

  Getting into the holiday spirit has been a little different here this year. Our household is getting back to normal, after a hard decision, following a hard 9 months for us. I am finally feeling more free to breathe, and it showed me not only about myself, but how I will handle things differently.
   But, now with Christmas all the more closer and the promise of spending some time in warmer weather with my dad's side of the family, I am finally feeling the excitement (though I do wish I could be in two places at once to also spend the day as we normally do with my mom's side.)
   Tonight I picked up Day, after getting his friend Richard (who acknowledges he is another of my sons haha) and Richard's two sisters. We went to the new drive-thru light display for our area, then rode around looking at home and city decorations. J and T even each sat with Santa individually! Thankfully they were already in the mood after getting their videos from Santa today (seriously, if you haven't done PNP - Personal North Pole for your kids, DO IT!) Tomorrow we will be making ornaments, which I want to make a yearly thing, hope I don't run out of ideas!

J is 7!

   Oh my goodness, how did this happen?! My baby is 7! Seriously, when they hit 5, they are still little, even when they are 6 you can convince yourself that 6 is so close to 5, BUT, when 7 happens, there is no denying, he is growing up, and WAY too quickly!
   J is still my little guy, stuck to me, and I love it. But he is still showing his independence, doing so much on his own, for himself, and to help me out (without my asking I might add.)
   He has my and his Pop-Pop's dry humor, and no filter. Growing up people didn't know how to take it, so I hope he has a better time of it than I did. But, so far he seems to have no trouble, in classwork or socially. He had 9 A's and 1 B on his report card, so all-in-all, he is ahead of the game already!
   He LOVES art. We figure he won't be into all the sports, and that is perfectly fine, but he definitely picked up the artistic gene from both sides of our families! Hopefully soon we will find an age appropriate art studio for him that doesn't only deal with clay medium!
   J no longer claims to have a favorite color, though he does like the Redskins (insert eye roll from mommy, and a high five from daddy) though now he says he is changing over to the 49ers. Maybe it's just the burgundy.
   Legos are still a favorite among any toy if given the choice, and Spongebob still takes top dollar on the TV, except if something zombie/vampire/werewolf/bigfoot is on (thanks to Uncle Tommy for introducing the scary stuff.) FaceOff is the favorite, which I think is perfect because it shows him how the characters he likes are made, that it is all make believe. And who knows, maybe he will take that love for Art and the horror characters and create his own monsters!
   J is very conscious of other family members. Even though T and Little Miss annoy him frequently, and there is an age gap between him and the 3 older kids, he still comes home with school stuff saying how he is thankful for his brothers and sisters. In fact, he told me I can't say "no" anymore, that he wants so many siblings that the wall is full of everyone's pictures. Even today, with daddy having to work, he was disappointed because he said it would have been nice to have his whole family here.
   We don't do parties, too many kids, we would wear friends and family out! So, the kids get to choose an "excursion" and J asked for the Chocolate Factory, so we decided Hershey and Chocolate World would be perfect with their holiday festivities! We are really looking forward to this!
   I have not been able to get out and do his 7 year old pics yet, but I have it all planned and I can't wait ot share once done!
   As with any year, I know each day I am blessed to be J's mom, and I say it each and every time, but I do look forward to what is to come, while still mourning the time that has passed.
   LOVE THIS GUY!

In Our Home - print

I had seen this in plaques quite frequently, but everything I have seen out is pretty country themed, so I just decided to do myself. I will have it printed as an 8x10 and then frame it myself. I'm thinking with a white matte and a black frame.

Snowman Tree

My large tree is only for family ornaments, and since each year the kids get a new personal ornament, plus a picture ornament and maybe some small ones, it is quite full. I still miss the theme trees my mom and I did together when I was older, so I have smaller trees that I do that way. This year our smallest tree is a snowman. T has watched Frosty a few too many times, because he keeps telling me it is going to start walking and give him a hug. Love that innocence!

Foster teens

   We went into foster care with the intent of taking 4-8 year olds. We already had one teenager and John at the time was working with teens in a case manager capacity, so he would have his fill that way (and he was GREAT at what he did, as I have since had many teens tell me when they have seen us out, let alone what I know he did.) We figured since we could have biological children it didn't seem fair to "request" babies and toddlers. We have had 9 kids in our home, some for only a few days or weeks, some for years, but only one has hit our age group, at 4 years old. I have had 3 teens, the rest 3 months and up. When I speak at classes for prospective foster parents, I tell them God had other plans for us, and he does know better than we do.
   What I have seen has warmed my heart! I have seen teens not just survive their circumstances, but persevere! I have seen social workers go out of their way to be there 24/7 for the kids. I try my best to do it all, but I can't, and it is wonderful to know I have other adults who have my back, and ultimately the "kids" as well. I have seen my kids break the odds. Only 50% of foster teens graduate high school! I cried when I sat between 2 workers in June for graduation of 2 of our kids!
   Kids, no matter the age, do not enter care by ANY fault of their own, EVER! Teens are going to be teens, yes, they will try you. But who of us did not do the same to our parents? They are teens afterall. I only wish I could capture an evening at my house to show you how great they are! I don't wish for anyone to feel sorry for them, I wish that so people would want to step up and help them out! Be a mentor, donate, anything!
   There is a huge out-pouring for Hurricane Sandy victims, which don't get me wrong, I think it is wonderful, but every day there is a need going on that isn't televised, that you just won't see, a need for human contact, a need to help get set up in their own home, support in school, finding a job, etc.
   I recently read that 60% of the population has thought about adoption. Those numbers would account for every waiting child in our country. I have also read that 6 in 10 people are touched by adoption. So odds are, you may already be thinking about it, odds are you may already know someone who would know where to point you to help.
   November is National Adoption Month. I know Foster Care has it's own month in May, but I think with the ultimate goal of finding children a forever family, foster kids deserve notice this month as well!
  

The boys for Halloween

J decided he wanted to be Ghost Rider for Halloween, which of course we couldn't just go out and buy the costume! Thankfully he already had the motorcycle jacket. We improvised on the flaming skull after I saw a post on Pinterest, unfortunately it didn't turn out as awesome, but quite a few people were impressed and gave him extra candy for creativity.

I had hoped to get T to be a vampire. Last year he was a skeleton, the year before that a little devil. Yes, I like to stick to themes when I can choose, J's first 3 Halloweens he was animals. But this was the year of him starting to choose his own, and he picked a sock monkey, which really went over we'll with people out and about, they loved it!

I cannot post pics of little miss, but she chose an orange and yellow butterfly and was just too darn adorable! And she knew it, which she should!

I can't wait to scrap their individual pages for their albums, and of course do my own page of them all!

Last weekend

We did make it to Arundel Mills last weekend for the kids to have their Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown pics done. J got to hit the Lego Store, and T & Molly picked the Disney Store. It was great spending the time with John and doing fun things with the kids! Now this weekend's plans of hitting a farm for fall festivities is kaput with Hurricane Sandy, but we can still gut and carve our pumpkins. Least we got to do something fall related!

Family Coat of Arms - Crest

Showcasing the family Coat of Arms was a fad over a decade ago. I'm sure there was a kiosk in every mall around the holidays selling these. It always bugged me that my maiden name didn't have one that could be found. Sheesh, look up may last name and everyone listed is at the furthest relation a 3rd cousin. Literally, anyone with the name is a close relative, it is that rare. My sister-in-law posted her family's coat of arms, so I decided to look up my "new" name (as new as a decade can be.) It was confusing at first, because there seemed to be many to choose from. Then I started looking into each a little more closely, and I took out the ones that weren't directly related to Spain, and the ones left over were very similar. They all seem to have the same basis, maybe just more modern of with a little more flourish. So, I will discuss with hubby as to which is his favorite (as if he really cares) and I will have to frame the "best." Here is a sampling of what I found. I'm partial to the last one on the right.

T is 3!

I can't believe that T is 3 today! Time has flown, and it is bittersweet! Each age is so special, and there are blessings in each moment you get to spend with your kids, but while looking forward to the next year, you still mourn the ones that have already passed. I will never be able to express the love I have for this child! He is so articulate, I know, most would say 2nd child syndrome, he only picks it up from the older kids, but mommy prefers to believe he is exceptionally smart. He is a little smart-aleck though, that's a given for this house, same with a temper, but I still say it means he will stand for his beliefs as he gets older, he won't be a push-over and hopefully a leader instead of a follower. T is a bundle of energy, and stubborn as the day is long. Guess that is a given for our family as well. He loves giving hugs and kisses, and the amount of  times he says "I Love You" during the day is wonderful! So many comment on the mischief in his smiles, and like any other aspect of his personality, it definitely shines through. He is so expressive, he will probably never be a great poker player. Like J did, he loves The Wiggles, but he also loves Mickey Mouse, and won't let us forget that we told him he will meet him next year. Unlike his older brothers, he loves playing cars and is enamored with animal and dinosaur figures, even stuffed animals. No matter what, he is a completely unique person in his own right and we are blessed to share his life with him!