Late again - Thursday Thankful

Ok, we've had tons going on with appointments and cleaning.
So - I'm thankful for my friends. The memories we share that give us laughs and strengths. Having people to turn to when I need to bounce a situation off, someone to lean on when I'm at my wits end, or just can't function. They've gotten me through some very tough times, which I'm very thankful. And the backing that we have gotten when we opened our home to foster children has been amazing, we realize we made this choice, but everyone else has opened their lives up so much too!

It's hard to express, to put into words, how special they all are to me! It won't be the same when we move away from the ones here on the Shore. Yes, we will of course visit, I could never lose these friends, but not having them around daily will be an adjustment. I haven't fooled myself into thinking I will find friends as good!

He's home with creds!

He's home, we're all happy, and he has his "creds." So, we can relax, for a little while at least! Lots of changes to come though!

Thursday Thankful - a little late

I missed this yesterday - THURSDAY THANKFUL - I'm thankful for my family, and yes, I have a LARGE one, so I have much more to be thankful for. It says a lot when even if there weren't blood ties I would want these people in my life! People scoff at the Duggars and other large families, but they just don't get what a special experience it is. Friends have gone with us to holidays or parties and come away amazed. John used to thank me after my family get togethers. It is special, hilarious, crazy, amazing, etc. I was lucky to have been born into it, and love that I'm able to "give" it to John and my boys. I love the reaction people have when they find out how large my "clan" is, because it does go through their head that they can't imagine. They don't even think about what it means in having people to share with, the good and the bad. To have so many people to lean on and back you up. There's nothing better!

Treat Yourself Tuesday

I'm about to get off the World Wide Web and start my pedi. Yes, I said "start." It's more than just slapping on some polish. I go for the whole foot softening treatment, polish will not go back on my toes until tomorrow night. I have the scrub, cleanser, moisturizing gel, etc. I don't use a pumice, fully treat my feet ahead of time and I don't get to that point. Not something I get to do often, but since I'm leaving in a few days, gotta take time now. It also gives me time to go to the store tomorrow night and get some cute brown polish for the season. Or maybe if I can find the pale gold I saw in a catalog earlier this week, that would look cute with my tat.

Spoke at DSS

This past week I spoke again at a DSS meeting for prospective foster parents. It was a great experience for me because another foster mom was there with her 2 kids and she had been at the last meeting I spoke at. She told me how she used things I said in her own life with the kids, which was great to hear, like I made even a little bit of a difference.

But, one thing that got me was a woman assumed JJ was a foster child and she said she had hoped he was open for adoption. Yes, he's a cutie, I'll admit it, but it was a sad moment to me. It's bad enough people in the community assume the kids are all mine biologically, or all not. But when someone who has biological children of their own make a broad based assumption, makes me wonder their own motives.

And hey, it struck me because we Johnsons all think he looks like us ;)

Time flies

11 years ago I was putting on a blue & black dress after doing Jessica's hair, never guessing how my life was about to change. I was looking forward to a night dancing and drinking with sorority sisters, not thinking of "meeting" my husband. John jokes that I was finally drunk enough to care, but maybe that is what it took, 2 years after he first asked me out and we kept running into each other, for me to see that something was planned for us. The days have flown by, we've had ups and downs, and he's held my hand through the toughest moments of my life, as well as the most fulfilling times.

Whatever happened that night to have me write my number down on a napkin in lip liner, it was a night I'd never change!

Thursday Thankful #1

It's that time again, and I'm sure I will end up repeating myself from last year because my life is blessed and constant.

To start off:
I'm thankful for my husband. I really found a great guy that rarely gets on my nerves ;) He self-admittedly spoils me, saying he can rarely say no to me. After being spoiled growing up in many ways, not just material things, I would be lost without him now. Feeling so important in someone else's world is something everyone should have. He continually betters himself, for the family and himself.

And the poor guy, I can't even give him a compliment without him thinking I had a really good day or want something. Guess I need to make sure he knows more often how much he is loved and appreciated!

Just this....

I love my family, that's all. The time I spend with them is precious to me. I hope they know it and I hope I can pass it on to my kids!

So, my "Treat Yourself Tuesday" is just allowing the time to think of how thankful I am. I did get an order of funnel cake sticks at lunch today though ;)

Oh, and this about sums up how I feel about my 'Boys this season. Can we bring back Aikman and Emmit?

When "HAHA" turns into "Ah-Ha"

A neighbor has been on hard times lately. Leaving his verbally abusive wife but then getting laid off from a job that made him come back to work almost immediately after a major heart attack, forced to live on the property with her, etc. I've tried to be here for him to talk to, borrow money, give an odd job here and there, whatever.

So, he calls me tonight to tell me something going good and asks to borrow some money. He comes over and we are talking on the front porch and he tells me how he thinks if he had a child around he feels it would calm things down for him. I laughed, told him it's not like a pet, which is reported to lower your blood pressure just by petting it. I told him the 3 kids wind me up, not calm me down.

Had to laugh, but at the same time I feel bad for him. He is missing out, and unfortunately he knows first hand, being estranged from an older son and losing a baby, he knows.

Sometimes I think things happen for a reason. I rarely have money on me, but because JJ's daycare wouldn't take the extra $ I give her for being late, I had the cash on me. I think I needed the lesson, to literally look in my front door at the boys, to appreciate what they bring to my life, and be thankful, for I am blessed.

What's Your Beef Wednesday

The only thing that really got my goat this week was watching a mom, who while holding her wheezing child smoked a cigarette.

Yes, I smoke, but not when the kids are outside with me or in the vehicle. I go outside and to a side of the house where no windows would be open. Smoking is my choice, albeit a bad one, but it's not theirs.

Treat Yourself Tuesday

I saw this somewhere and figured you can't lose doing something for yourself, no matter how small, to make yourself feel better. Face it, we think of the small things for our SOs and kids, sometimes you need to do the same for yourself.

Ice cream for lunch, a latte for breakfast, 30 minutes to watch a fav show, deep moisturizing your tootsies then going around in socks, mani or pedi, 10 minutes carved away to do your fav hobby, etc. The little things add up, even for ourselves.

So, I did little online shopping tonight. I admit I had already picked out what I wanted in the catalog, but I got this for John's graduation:
http://www.bodyc.com/products/paisley-print-kimono-sleeve-dress/?F_All=Y
Now, just to find some over the knee boots, but I'll shop in GA or FL for those. I also got this shirt so we can go out, our 1st adult-free weekend in 5 years:
http://www.bodyc.com/products/ruched-autumn-print-sublimation-top/?F_All=Y

Also while at the store and picking up milk and baby food I got a tub of berry sherbet and a trash magazine. I'll moisturize my hands and wear some gloves in a few after trimming my too long nails.

I admit I got a jump on things, last night after Meer fell asleep I did a paper scap page. Really relaxing before bed!

Meer's 11th Month

This is a quickpage, I take absolutely NO credit for it other than throwing Meer's photos in it from Last month. But I still had to share. I wish I had more time to do more original digital and paper pages. I plan on doing some today, fingers crossed for me!

A song to share!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLjwczYafVE

He's thinking ahead....

John's already planning on what we will do for our 10 year anniversary, in 2012. He says cruise, who am I to complain? Gonna let him go with this one, he can choose place and all.

Pleasant surprise.....

I've had a rather hectic day with doctor appointments and meetings for the kids. Not quite a day "off." To be expected, I'm a mom. But when I went to pick JJ up his daycare provider had fixed us dinner. For someone who feels like she's doing for everyone by herself, it is SO appreciated! I don't even know if I will be able to put into words in the thank you card to her!

Fall Is In The Air

Ok, the outfit can be a little girlie, but cute all the same.

My own Cookie Monsters

Ok, I love Cookie Monster and the boys always get a laugh when I do my best impression of him. I'm getting such joy out of seeing these "baby" clothes again. So what, I need a little weird joy considering John went back to GA way too quickly and I then got sick.

And Ginny, I will be posting another of these pics soon of 1 of Aaron's outfits, would be nice if you had a pic of Aaron in it, the burgundy cord overalls with Simba on the front?

24 hours!

Picking my man up tomorrow night! Can't sum it all up in a blog post, but you all can figure that out! YIPPEE!

To be thankful for....

Things have been building up and finally hit the brick wall, so, instead of dwelling on something that brings tears to my eyes, I will instead look on today's bright side.

- I'm thankful I got to see my God-baby on ultrasound, even if they couldn't tell gender (I swear its a girl!)
- I'm thankful a great friend came over with her 2 boys tonight just to talk.
- I'm thankful my boss trusts me enough to continually train new employees and cross-train current employees.
- I'm thankful for a noisy house.
- I'm thankful to have spent the 8+ hours with great friends (yes, my coworkers.)
- I'm thankful I can speak another language, even though sometimes people don't always like what I have to say.
- I'm thankful no weird stuff happened at work, though sometimes it is what gets me through the day.
- I'm thankful I can look up the blogs I follow here and still find laughter in life.
- I'm thankful for the internet so I can keep up with family and friends spread all over the world!

Absent

I've been rather absent lately.
Meer has had yet another head cold, and he's just miserable. Poor boy, I hope he doesn't have this his whole life! But, he is starting to take a few steps before falling on his behind, it's adorable.
JJ is impatiently waiting for his birthday because he tells me he will get to go to school then, not just class. I feel so bad for him, he really is so ready, stupid state laws. But that's ok, he will just be ahead when he starts kindergarten next year. He is asking for a swing set, which I've had to tell him will have to wait until we move, but John's looking for a cheap one that we can leave here.
Day is slacking some, we had a meeting last night and maybe I got through a little but. It seems a little gets through each time, he has changed so much, it just seems frustrating some when you see so much potential that might go to waste.
I'm managing to muddle through. Physically it has been easier than I thought doing it on my own, but emotionally both John and myself are not made to be apart for long stretches. I think this has been good for our relationship though, I've seen a side of John I've never seen before since he's had some time to reflect on our family. But, we may have to go through this once again, seems a guy who runs NSA K9 wants him to transfer over to their department, which would mean training in TX or AL. I'd be quite happy with TX, I could go see my brother at the same time! Next month I will be leaving the kids, 1st time ever away from JJ, and flying down to GA for John's graduation, by myself, so I can ride back with him. We need the time together, and I need the time to myself while he's in class. Day's grades have been fluctuating so there was no way I was going to take him out of school, and I'm not going to take the other kids and not him, so this alternative works for us. And I don't have to feel guilty for going to FL and not visiting my dad.
I haven't had time to do any of my favorite hobbies. No jewelry, no scrapping, nothing. I really need the time to myself. What a change for me, to go from being raised an only child, use to time to myself, now having none.

Freaky Friday, how about all week!

Disturbing things during the week.....

I meet a grandmother who is 4 months younger than me!

More undergarments being used as purses/wallets. Sorry, I don't know where you've been, knowing where your license has is bad enough!

Cockroaches are not pets, please do not carry them around in your purse, and no, I do not want to adopt part of your litter, do not leave them on our "doorstep."

Beetles and worms in baby formula, gross!

It is not ok to open someone else's window or door. It's closed for a reason.

Trash cans were invented for a reason, they have quite a large opening, it will hold that dirty diaper or snotty kleenex.

Can I handle it?

John and I were talking about my flying down for a weekend, then he asked me to fly down by myself for his graduation and drive back up with him. Oh, what a thought, not to drive down "by myself" with the kids! It's a long drive and I was not looking forward to it. I feel guilty, not taking the kids, and Day was looking forward to it, but his grades are up and down, depending on if he wants them up, so he really shouldn't be missing any school in the 1st place. I haven't been away from JJ except 1 night when i had a sleep study done, yes, 1 night, and yes, he will be 5 in 2 months. I so need some time to myself and some time with John, but I wonder, will I be able to enjoy it or will I feel guilty over not taking the kids? Will I worry about how they are doing the whole time? I'm not supposed to feel this way, I'm allowed some time to myself in life! Curse my upbringing haha.

Not military quality.....

John and I realized we wouldn't do well if he re-enlisted and was deployed. It's only been 15 days since we've seen each other, and only 17 til we get a long weekend together again, and it seems like forever.

Mad props going out to all the military families out there that do this all the time! My bro & his family and my niece with hers, kudos!

Happy birthday!

I stayed up way too late on the phone with John last night, the 1st to wish him a happy birthday, and I'm paying for it this morning with 2 kids who woke up way too early, but it was worth it! This is his 1st birthday in 11 years that I haven't been able to say it personally :(

Hope he has a great day!

Not always what you expect to get

A year and a day ago we were just a family of 3, waiting to have our first foster placement of a 4-8 year old child....

Fast forward (and it did go fast) and we have a soon to be 18 year old and a baby who next month will be 1.

We thought we knew what was best for our family, clearly God knew better, and thankfully Social Services doesn't follow what we say to a "T."

The adoption process has started for Day, earlier than we expected. Now just to wait for the same to be said for the baby (and to get over my guilt on wanting to adopt kids, wanting parents to not get them back.)

More than just 1....

When you're a foster parent you are not just taking 1 child into your family, but their family as well. Sometimes it is just the memories they bring with them, but if you're really lucky their family members are actual parts of your lives too.

Last night Day's older sister came over. She wanted to come over last Thursday night but the house was a mess and I was busy packing for our trip to meet John in NC. I felt bad, but there was no way I could deal with anything else.

Her boyfriend brought her over last night and took Day to the side, saying he was going to propose right after they left. I thought that was amazing, he wanted to let Day, basically the man of the family, know his intentions. How many other guys would do that in this era? He seems such a great guy, a gentle giant is an appropriate term, very polite and quiet.

Not 30 minutes later they come driving back because Day's sister is so excited and wants to show off her ring. It was such a blessing to be included in such a joyous occasion! I wish them the best and I'm thankful to be included in their happiness, hoping they continue to have so much more!

We got into this with the intention of adding happiness in lives that deserve it so much more than anyone else. You don't think of the little things that will add so much happiness to your own!

Caricutures....

Yeah, we had too much fun doing this ;)

Sequence

My mom played this card game at her sister's in Indiana while up for my cousin's wedding. Everyone had a blast and my Aunt sent her 1 for Christmas the following year. We in turn had so much fun playing it as a family with a young Brandon that we bought the dice version, which now in turn is a blast with an even younger JJ, perfect for his age! I can't help but smile when thinking of how it's another way to share my Mom with the boys!
http://www.amazon.com/Jax-8002-Sequence-Game/dp/B00000IVAK
I have to take some pics of our next family game!

Great weekend

We spent time with John and didn't want to come home, enough said ;)

Oh, and he gave me a new camera, so I was extra happy!

Hurricane/storms.....

People around here freak out with the mention of a storm, last winter it was the snow, now it's Hurricane Earl. Grocery stores are packed with people and empty with food. Gas stations have no parking spaces. We are only in a warning for 12 hours total people, we aren't even set to be in the flood areas! People are canceling appointments like crazy! Schools are already closing. What's going on here, what's with this panic mode we go into now? It wasn't like this when I was a kid and we really got hit by storms. We were all fine. Pantry didn't go bare, we didn't run out of milk or bread. In fact, I have rather fond memories of having to share my little twin bed in my yellow room with my 18 year old cousin during Hurricane Gloria ;)

I just wish I could tell people to calm down, this too shall pass, and rather quickly. Don't put all your eggs in 1 basket, be it in the grocery store, or canceling your life long before we even know what is going to happen!

The kid loves fishing....

I had a photobook printed of digi-pages from over a year ago and realized I needed to stop doing only paper. This was a very simple layout that I've wanted to do on paper, but decided to scratch off a page from my to-do list and do it digital. I'm happy with it's simplicity and I used pics John took from his camera of Day on one of his many fishing excursions this past summer.

Candy.....

Late lunches just kill me, I like food too much. 1 of the companies we refer to stops by candy once in awhile, so today I had a couple Tootsie Pops to curb my hunger.

It got me to thinking, how come there aren't smaller, stick-less versions? So much easier - more convenient and less messy. They could be called "Tootsie Drops" and stick right along the theme of the candy line already out there. I tell you, my Dad would be in Heaven!

Candy maker take note, a consumer has spoken.

Re-live experiences....

There's no doubt that to experience things as a kid again you just need to take a kid with you and see things through their eyes. It's double fun to take a teenager on his first roller coasters, something so adrenaline pumping is just hilarious! I even laughed when I almost got slapped in the face after Day decided last minute to throw his hands in the air like myself and so many others were doing down a straight drop. We had so much fun at Six Flags yesterday with friends, there were hardly any lines and the kids each got to do some things.

The only downer was my camera seems officially dead. I've been having problems with it for a few months, but this seems to be the end of it :( I'm in mourning. It means not only did I not get but 2 pictures on my crappy camera phone, but now I have to buy a new camera. John said he knows what to get me for Xmas, but seriously people, the man knows I won't last that long! Come on, there's Halloween and Thanksgiving before then! And that's not counting the numerous little things with the kids! Sheesh, just next weekend alone when we see him I'd want pictures!

TGIF

I'm so glad for Friday, I really need it. Though I won't get much of a break tomorrow, it will be worth it to take the kids to Six Flags with a friend and her kids. But I am salivating over the thought of sleeping in Sunday and getting to take a nap! I hate being like my father and needing so much sleep!

1st Day of School Pic

I've been kinda remiss in posting this, but as always, when John is not home someone gets sick, this time it was me with a fever, bronchitis, and the probable start of asthma. Anyway, here is Day's the 1st day of his junior year. His classes weren't changed and I'm a little perturbed that he was auto-assigned a trade instead of a foreign language, I feel he was pigeon-holed, and we couldn't change his schedule, but he seems to be happy with all of the classes he has, plus the gentleman who gave him the summer job/work-study has offered him one during the week, which will be great! Here's to high hopes for the coming year!

Back to school

Day starts his junior year today, after agonizing over his clothes yesterday. I can't wait for him, I know he's excited! I will def take pics! We are taking a very hands-on approach this year with school work. I hate the word "micro-manage" but basically that is what will be done. He did it his way last year, but now's the time to crack down and average won't cut it. He's a great kid and we know what he is capable of!

We will also begin what I guess you could say is "homeschooling" JJ. We've always done workbooks with him and I bought him kindergarten computer program last month which he loves, but we will begin in earnest with the "homework". I don't have any worry for him because according to his daycare provider he's the furthest along in her "class." And he's already quite artistic, telling you ahead of time what he will draw and it looks like what he says. Supposedly other kids when you ask afterwards you can see them thinking of what they want to say their drawing is.

Gonna be a long Fall....

John left this morning for FLETC in GA. He's so happy and I am too for all it means for our family to come (especially moving back across the bridge near my family!) But this is going to be a long 12 weeks for us. Both boys asked where he was this morning, hopefully not an indication of what's to come. We are already planning going to see him in a couple weeks, meeting up in between, and I'm going to try to fill my weekends so time goes by quicker. But it still won't be the same. I just have to remind myself it's only temporary, and like he said, it could be worse, just think what it would be like had he reenlisted in the military!

School shopping complete

John wanted to buy new shoes for his new job, so instead of going out to dinner like originally planned we went shopping. Not a bad thing, I just managed to finish Day's school shopping a couple days early. And I mean completely, utterly finished! He has enough new shirts to last him the first month without repeating himself.

And I have to give mad props to my mom for her lessons in bargain shopping. Day told me that he's going to take me shopping for his clothes for the rest of his life, even when he has his own money, he's going to give it to me to buy his clothes. of course that made me feel good ;)

School schedule

Today is open house at the high school. Thankfully they are open long enough that I can go after picking up the boys.

I'm a little perturbed b/c the school signed Day up for HVAC, both semesters, 2 classes each. He didn't ask for this, who decided a trade was important for him that they would take away 2 classes for this?

And then have the nerve to send a note telling us to make sure he is fulfilling his graduation requirements when THEY are the ones keeping him from doing so!

Six Flags Surprise

My cousin and his wife gave us discount tickets to Six Flags, which I'm so thankful for. I'm planning a day trip with a friend and her kids, as a complete surprise. We aren't going to tell them exactly what we are doing until we pull in to the gate. I can't wait to see their faces! Day has never been to an amusement park, so it will all be new to him, his reactions will be priceless. JJ doesn't remember going to any, and if he gets to see some superheros he will be on cloud nine! It will be such a fun day making memories with the kids! Here's hoping for no rain that day!

What would I laugh at without my kids?

JJ came in our room the other night with a toy rifle, said in his gangster voice "Say hello to my little friend."

My kid is channeling Pacino.

I laughed my butt off!

I'm flustered just thinking of it

John will be going to the FLETC academy in GA next week, for 12 weeks! This is the academy that all federal police officers go to, like the FBI, CIA, Secret Service, Homeland Security, etc. He'll do fine, he's made it through boot camp and a couple police academies, it's me I'm worried about. How and I going to make it being the "single" mom of 3 boys? I'm lucky to have such a strong friend base, with all the offers of help I've gotten, and I'm surely going to need them to lean on, but I'm still scared witless! John's trip to FL was literally the longest we have been apart in 11 years. Now of course we will see each other maybe a couple weekends a month, but this is going to be interesting too.

I'm so happy for him and what this means for our family in the future, but this is going to be tough for awhile.

Where....

I still can't find my wire. I sit and doodle designs to bend for jewelry, and I can't find any of my wire! Purple, black, red, blue, green, silver, gold : each and every one has gone AWOL. How in the world could they have disappeared? I'm not the most organized person, I can't claim to be, but everything does have it's place, and these things are not in their place.

I hate making trips to Michael's, it's my "candy" store, though I make fewer and fewer all the time, and I'm better and better at spending less and less.

But to have to buy something that I KNOW is somewhere in this house, oh it makes me shudder!

Police Life

"Loving A Policeman"

As you get ready for work each day
I watch quietly, and to God I silently pray
I know you must go, because duty calls
You have to keep the peace and enforce the laws

But each time that we kiss goodbye
It's sometimes hard for me not to cry
As I watch you walk out the door
My heart usually falls to the floor

For I always know it may have been my last chance
For one more kiss or one last glance
I know I have to always be strong
But I can't help but worry while you're gone

Each night as I lay in bed alone
I pray for the Lord to bring you safely home
I toss and turn for hours, but I eventually fall asleep
And I'm thankful when you awake me with a kiss on the cheek

I know what this job means to you
And I also know what the stress can do
So I want you to know just what you mean to me
And I hope I can always be the wife you need me to be

By
Amy Hanks

Sad tragedy

Someone I spent time with growing up playing dolls and zooming down a zip lune died this weekend. The loss of a young life is tragic, the way it happened a complete waste. I feel absolutely horrible for her parents because not 12 years ago they lost another child, same horrible way, long before his time, someone I graduated with, took college classes with, and again, grew up with.

Their parents were great parents, wonderful to be around, concerned for their children. It makes it so much scarier as a parent, because there is so much that I cannot control, no matter how much I want to set my children on the right paths.

I will keep trying, never give up what in this day and age has become a battle, and each night hold them a little closer, say a few more "I Love You's", give a tighter hug in the morning, and any extra kisses they want.

Children are on loan to us, their own individuals, precious of themselves. Appreciate every little thing possible!

Wednesday's Wisdom

Audrey Hepburn is a distant relative, but even before I knew that I admired her poise, grace, and life-long devotion to others! I can't help but do 1 Wednesday Wisdom to her! My favorite quote of hers is on my profile here, but she has so many others!

~ The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
~ A quality education has the power to transform societies in a single generation, provide children with the protection they need from the hazards of poverty, labor exploitation and disease, and given them the knowledge, skills, and confidence to reach their full potential.
~ Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.
~ It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so 'don't fuss, dear; get on with it.
~ I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
~ I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it.

I wanna learn....

...to knit or crochet or something.

Spend some time making scarves watching TV. Some cute matching earrings. There you go, personalized Xmas presents. And with my own scarf collection, maybe this will curb me from buying any new ones for awhile. Who knows, maybe I can get good enough to make matching hats, that would cover another thing I am hording.

But, I'm stuck, I can't find anyone who knows how to do it. I'm toying with either buying a video or getting a book. I'm going to have to teach myself, which has me a little worried.

I haven't told John yet, he'd probably roll his eyes at yet another crafty hobby.

Yah!

John got me a purple "Kathy" purse this weekend that I have been coveting. Yeah, friends called me spoiled again today. So, what, I am, and I love it.

Nuff' said.

mind fodder

A friend/coworker gave me a big bag of books Friday, mindless fodder of trashy romance novels. I'm embarrassed to say, I read 5, yes 5, this weekend. I don't know how with 2 little kids and a teenager. Yes, we even did did some school shopping yesterday and grocery shop today.

What you learn about people....

Last night I ran into my freshman science teacher in Wal-Mart. She was asking if I kept up on Cambridge (no offense, but no.) So, she was telling me how the old principal didn't work out, explains to me how he was from across the bridge, PG county to be exact, and black. I don't know if she saw the steam coming out of my ears, but I was fuming. So, I figure out how to slip into conversation how I'm from across the bridge (actually, I was born in PG) and how proud I am of my 3 boys, lo and behold, all 3 of which are mixed. Yeah, hopefully she remembers next time to be mindful that she has no clue who she is talking to personally and keep her prejudice and stupidity to herself.

To think, someone with those feelings is teaching our children!

School shopping

Ok, so I'm not a newbie to school shopping. Bran did majority of his shopping down here by his choice. We'd hit whatever state we were vacationing in plus the outlets in DE. But honestly, it was never fun. Not with the pressure of having to buy from the right store with the right name in the right style, which of course, cost the wrong amount of money.

But now, there's Day. He could care less what store you bought something from, as long as it is his style. Do you know how easy that makes it? I can actually buy for him without him being there and he's happy! I can take him shopping and offer up suggestions that he actually cares about!

He's easier than shopping for JJ, who either wants Superheros or orange. Yeah, that does not go over really simple either.

So, school supplies are bought and waiting for him on his bed when he gets home from the gym. We have 4 new shirts so far, and we've got so much of the budget left. This makes it actually fun, especially for me, who was raised that bargain shopping is a sport/hobby!

Conversation with my Dad.....

My Dad his a "root" yesterday evening when we were on the phone. I won't say a nerve, b/c it is nothing like that at all. After our mindless chatter on the weather (sorry, it was ONLY 78 there, while at 7pm it was STILL a steaming 99 here!) we were talking about the kids, then John, who lately I have been a little short with (the same thing so many other women complain about when there are kids involved.)

And then my Dad compared John to my Pop, his father, 1 of the greatest men both of us knew. I don't talk about it much, but my Pop holds a very dear part in my heart. His love for my Grandmother was very above and beyond. My Dad was his "favorite" child, and in turn I ended up being his "favorite" grandchild. He was always so calm, so gentle, so engrossed in our lives. The time he lived with us in the house on the hill gave me memories I will cherish forever. Looking back now I see what an odd pair we made, a child with too much energy and a mouth that never stopped, a crippled man with more than enough of an ear to listen, who REALLY cared what I was saying. He wanted to know what I was coloring, what my Barbies were saying to each other, he taught me to play dominoes, and then checkers. He always had the time for me and Ir remember 1 time he got mad at my Grandmother for giving me my birthday gift without him around.

My Dad making the comparison was something I needed to get a little perspective back. John had given me the day to spend time with a friend, so I was already feeling a little better. I had said in passing yesterday morning about wanting a curved shower rod, he hit all the stores looking for just what I wanted without telling me what he was doing. As he said himself, when does he ever tell me "no."

Sometimes I don't see it, and yes, sometimes he won't be exactly what I am expecting, but he's better at this than I am it seems.

I've been very lucky in life to have been given certain people, I can only hope my boys grow into men like these.

Wednesday's Wisdom

Martin Luther King, JR - he had much more depth than his famous speech, please look him up!

- Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
- Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
- History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.
- I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
- Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
- Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'

And my favorite part of his speech:
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

That part of his speech hit me the other day, when a girl claimed walking into a building brought on the thoughts of "movies of the ghetto with Blacks and Mexicans in it." Good thing she'd never be invited to my home! I pity her children, what a homogeneous, boring life they will be led to have.

Calling public behavior

Thank goodness there are still some people not afraid to call others on their idiotic behavior in public! I love the man asking someone "Would you kiss your momma with that mouth." And the lady telling someone "there are kids around, this is a public place, watch your language."

Other than people like that, what gets me through the day is the fact that I get to go home and be happy, when they go home they are still miserable.

Cool dude

Ok, completely staged photo so I can do my ABC's of summer double scrap page, of course, under "Sunglasses." But it's too cute not to share!

Embarassing? I think not!

I was looking at my stomach this morning and I was reminded of a conversation with a former coworker, also a c-section mommy. She was with a boyfriend at the time and telling a few of us of how she was embarrassed of her scar. I told her I never would be, but she said I felt that was because I was still with my child's father. But no, I am not embarrassed because to me it would be like being embarrassed of my child. My scar is a symbol that I am a mommy, that medicine allowed me to have a healthy baby, that a doctor saved my son's life. My scar is beautiful, always a reminder of the happiness I have been given. If any man felt it wasn't something to be proud of, that man could pound sand. I will never be made to feel anything but joy from my body, imperfections and all!

It's done too!

Oh, so tickled with it! I finally have my "costume" earrings out of my nice jewelry armoire. I'm not sure what to do with my costume bracelets and necklaces, so for now they will keep their home with the good stuff.

Earrings....

Earrings contain much history.

I once read a story of a despondent little girl who had a teacher whose attention and caring changed her life. The teacher always wore dangle earrings, and when questioned why explained how it was something of beauty to her, a reminder from what she had come and made of herself.

Sailors once wore earrings to signify trips around the world, or surviving the sinking of a ship. Or in hopes that if they died in a shipwreck someone who found the body would take the earring in payment of their burial.

Some believe earrings came about simply as a way to draw attention to a person's face. Some cultures use it as a rite of passage.

For myself, they are something I can make with my own two hands, relish in the accomplishment that I made something pretty to enjoy for myself, or take pleasure in giving away to those I care for.

And I'm tired of those pretty dangles, most made, some bought, sitting in a drawer, out of sight, out of mind. Currently I'm fashioning my own hanger to display my creations, and once again, I do not have the patience with myself to have it complete.

So far tonight the frames are painted, just waiting for the mesh tomorrow, being brought over by my friend. For her contribution she will leave with her own display and a new pair of baubles to hang on it.

Wow - 8 years!

The years have flown by! I love my hubby and all he has brought into my life!

Memory Lane Monday

Wow, 10 years ago we were planning for this trip. It's been WAY too long!

It's done!

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y134/klhmendoza/S7300976.jpg

Can't wait to wear! Did wear my cut stone pendant today with lots of compliments! I can see why John doesn't like to buy me jewelry anymore when I wear so much of my own "creations."

I have no patience, even with myself....

I've been working on a crystal bracelet about every other day. I saw something on a coworker at a baby shower last year and finally decided to do it. But man, this is taking more time than I thought, and I'm not liking it. I've always done quick, easy things before, this is easy, but far from quick. I want to have it done SO bad just so I can wear it, which won't even be often.

I'm about 5 hours into it, I think more than 1/2 way done. So far I have a base of small clear crystals, some med teals, and some large greens. I want to add some pinks and purples, to the point I don't see much of the chain itself. I just don't have the patience to wait for myself to finish it!

Sad thing is, I'm already planning my next bracelet, something funky inspired (meaning I'm lifting the style) of my friend Mindy.

I just wish I'd hurry up and be done already!

Wednesday's Wisdom

Aesop:

-"Adventure is worthwhile."
-"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."
-"We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified."
-"People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves."

Well, my brain is gearing for Indpendence Day...

I have "I'm a Yankee Doddle Dandy" stuck in my head the last few days. What's worse is I got it from looking through a scrapbook magazine, something totally innocent, but deadly all the same. Hope it's out of my system after Monday, if I can stand it that long.

I have it so bad, I've been thinking how cute it would be for JJ to sing it.

Told you, deadly.

Wednesday's Wisdom

I'm doing something different with this than "wacky" or "wordless." I've recently been thinking about how many people throughout history have been quoted, and why we repeat such quotes. So, from now on, as long as I can remember to do it, Wednesdays will be about what I feel I want to live my life by, what attributes I feel best describes either how I feel I am now, or how I want to become.

So, for my 1st:

Helen Keller
~ I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
~ Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.
~ The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
~ It is not possible for civilization to flow backwards while there is youth in the world. Youth may be headstrong, but it will advance it allotted length.

A child's wisdom....

At 4 JJ is very precocious. Yesterday he explained to me that he can run so fast the rain won't get him wet. Yes, it reminded me of the Chicken Soup for the Soul story.

But Sunday he said something that told me he understands somewhat of what we are doing....

He explained to John and myself that the baby's Mommy & Daddy brought him home, now he is with us, and we share him.

I had worried at times how this would affect him. I've never explained to JJ visitations, court, or any of this process. He just knows that sometimes Mommies and Daddies need extra help.

Through it all, I still wonder what he will think about our choice when he's older. Hopefully he will look back and think of the extra things it brought to his life too.

Another shameless request....

to vote for JJ:
http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/407437

When is it officially summer?

When do you officially know it is summer? Is it June 21st, or when the heat hits? Is it your 1st trip to the pool or beach? Or a family bbq?

For me it's the food. It's steamed crabs and fresh veggies, and of course, the first watermelon of the summer.

Yeah, I'm a country girl.

He's all "my fault."

Everything about JJ gets blamed on me. His "grace" (lack thereof), his motor-mouth, his smart-mouth, etc. There are many things I will take credit for, but quite frankly, I know how John is now, I'm not dumb, he didn't become that way over-night. He has just as much to do with JJ's genes as I do.

So, I set out to prove him wrong. With his brother having been up this past week, I told him ahead of time I was going to find out the real story. Come on, after reading his baby book and seeing how he cried if he wasn't held (just like JJ) I knew there was a lotta poppa in the son.

And yes, it was all confirmed: John was clumsy, spoiled, a smart-aleck, etc.

That finger can point both ways now. Thanks Norman for the confirmations!

My hubby is a rocking Father

John receiving his award Sunday.

Spilling the beans b/c I just can't keep it in

JJ is a self-admitted momma's boy and will tell anyone he loves me more, but that doesn't take from the fact that John is an awesome Dad. He is great with Day & Meer and he struggled for 15 years, unfortunately unsuccessfully, to help raise Brandon.
So, this weekend he will be recognized, along with 8 other Dad's and recording artist Case, at the Father's Rock convention in Baltimore. He has no clue. He is working for 1 of his cop buddies from Ft Meade who owns his own security company. But when I heard they were honoring dads who served our communities, I knew I had to nominate him! This is the man who served our Country in the Air Force and the Army National Guard. This is the man who protected our community on local, state, and federal levels (and who will be going back federal shortly.) This is the man who every day tries to turn around the lives of kids who are dabbling on the wrong side of the law, and who takes it personally when they end up back in the system (and who takes great satisfaction when they turn their lives around!) This is the man who when he sees a tractor trailer accident at 3am will sit with the driver until EMS arrives. And in our own home, he is the same, but of course more protective, over us all. I can't wait for him to find out and it will be immensely hard not to tell him in the next few days!

And I credit him with our own nomination as Foster Parents of the Year. How many other men would be so willing to raise kids not their own? He's not just a by-stander, but a full-fledged dad!
http://www.delmarvanow.com/section/LIFESTYLE

Cover contest

I'm up for any shameless opportunity to promote what great genes my son has. So, check out the link below for the Parents cover contest. I had trouble adding a couple other pics, so I added photobucket links instead. Leave a comment of just hit "like" for me please!

http://www.parents.com/photos/photo-contests-1/2010-parents-cover-contest/1943300055/?photoId=1940000143

Such a shame I couldn't add Meer too, seems a crime when he's so stinking adorable!

Thanks!

Fighting change

Why do some people fight change? Is it all about control, afraid they are going to lose it or just trying to control the current situation? Do they actually think that being nasty to people in the concept that they represent change make them better, superior in some way?

"Let's make your life miserable because I don't want to do things the way I'm supposed to, the way you do it."

Is change always good? No, but things can't improve without it. I understand some people get complacent, but being stagnant is not a LIFE option, you can't stop it, you will change, hence graying hairs and laugh lines. If you don't move forward, you will move backward. It's like a treadmill, if you don't keep up or move slightly faster, you will be pulled back. Fighting it only makes you miserable, and it seems, makes you want to be miserable to those around you.

Memory Lane Monday

It's odd looking at JJ now and trying to remember him this small.

Birthdays suck.....

Birthdays will never be the same for me. My mom told me 3 years ago that her cancer wasn't curable, but her doctor told her he would get her to a manageable level them with maintenance treatments she would live for 5-10 more years. Having a time limit was hard enough to deal with at that moment, but then a few days later she had her stroke, and a week later died. I can never look at this time of year the same.

But, while some will feel having something so devastating happen on what it supposed to be a happy day, a day of celebration, is a bad thing, that you have those memories come up each year, I don't feel it as so. It's rather been a blessing because while yes, I am having a hard time dealing, as I will for the rest of my life, all the time, having my birthday fall at this time leads me to be thankful for the life I was given by my mom, both literally and figuratively. But because I have such amazing friends who send me such wonderful greetings, I know I am blessed to still be surrounded by such great love from so many people.

So, really, this is just a big thank you to everyone who took the time this week to wish me a Happy Birthday, it really does mean a lot to me, you're all so special to me, I love you all!

More....

I love you more - how can anything be more precious, said after a hug and a kiss, while wearing a big smile.

That's 1 argument I'll have any day with my kids!

Memory Lane Monday

Since birth, this is the only time JJ's mouth doesn't move. Scratch that, he does talk/laugh in his sleep, but that's kinda cute.

Just, well, *sigh*

I'm in a mood this morning. I've been up, since 8:15, when the baby woke up, only to realize I didn't wake up soon enough for the swim lessons that John signed JJ up for, so now we have to do the Tues/Thurs class, which means me trucking when I get off since John can't take him this Tuesday because he has an "intake."

I made more chocolate dipped pretzels and my 1st batch at macaroons. This was not the simplest task because the baby screams if you are not right with him anymore. This is a new development, our own fault, yes, we've spoiled him. This is the 1 bad part to attached parenting, if there is only 1 of you available, you can't do anything unless you listen to the high falsetto of cries. Anyway, the pretzels are not my favorite, because of having to stop (to soothe the baby) and go back to dipping, the chocolate was not all that smooth. JJ already sampled a macaroon and liked it and Day woke up asking what smelled so good (think maybe we found an alternative to alarm clocks on school days?)

JJ is now heavy into video games, as much as we will let him anyway. But he doesn't have the full dexterity to do what might be needed in his games meant for kids a few years older, which means we have to help him. I banned video games for the morning, not only could I not help him, but honestly, he needs a break from them. But, this led to whining to play. So my decision bites me back anyway, but it was only temporary after he had a time-out in his bedroom for continually running his fingers over the chalkboard of my mind.

I'm doing laundry, surprise there huh. I feel as if I am always doing laundry, the clothes baskets are full, there is still no room in the closest, but it seems there's nothing to wear! Oh, well. There's about 3 more loads to go. So goes the story of my day.

John is still asleep, he's going on 8 hours now, I think he's about at his limit (ok, he's at MY limit.)

I was going to go to a friends to scrap and swim today, sans kids, but I'm in such a rotten mood I begged off for tomorrow. Today I need to recoup from this morning. Once John wakes up he better hold to his promise for crab cakes, steamed shrimp, and watermelon. I'm thinking a mojito will go along nicely with that later on.

Ok, so I'm done with my pity party, put away the violins.

Memory Lane Monday - Memorial Day

I have no memory attached to this picture, I of course was years from being born, but there are memories for others attached, I can just imagine what my grandmother was thinking, taking the picture, glad to have all 3 of her boys home at the same time! From left to right is my Uncle Gary, my Uncle Bill, and my Dad. Yes, all 3 boys went in the military, then my Dad went to be a policeman as soon as he was back state-side. Serving your country is a big deal in my family, which I'm proud of! Would it scare me for my boys to join, of course, but I would be 1 proud, crying momma at their boot camp graduations, and standing among the crowds at their welcome home celebrations.

Interviewed....

We were interviewed this morning for articles to be published in local newspapers in regards to being nominated as foster parents of the year. The person asked John if our house was complete and he said the only thing we need now is a girl because he's sure I'm feeling pretty out-numbered. I'll admit, I have been buying an awful lot of dresses and skirts the past year, maybe as a reaffirmation of my own femininity, but I'm not quite sure what I would do with a girl, something many of you know I always said I wanted.

We actually were asked this week by a former coworker to take a little girl, the mom of which I went to high school with, who will be spending the next year in jail. It would've been drama attached, I'm sure, and I would've sucked it up, because there's no way I could say "no" to a child. But, I have to say, when my former coworker told me she was going to try to keep the little girl herself, there was relief. I don't have to worry about moving anyone around so she'd have her own room or buying girl specific clothes and toys.

Yes, in the future, I would really love a little girl, of my own or even just to "borrow." But for right now, I think our family is right where it is supposed to be. We can figure out the rest when the need presents itself.

Need a refresher course -

I think refresher courses in kindergarten need to be offered.

Daily I see so many people not know how to wait their turns, butt in line, take from others, etc.

Hard to believe the things that were ingrained in us when we were 5, to give us the basics on how to socially make it through school, are so easily forgotten.

Hey, I'll sign up myself, especially if it involves snacks and naps!

Memory Lane Monday

In this picture JJ is about 8 months old. With a 7 month old in the house I can't help but remember these times....

When you call a taxi.....

Ok, so I'll admit I've never ridden in a taxi in my life. Never had reason to, even when in NYC we hoofed it. I hated when my roommate would take a taxi from the (gasp) train station back to campus.

But, when driving around town I can't help but get a laugh at some companies that we have locally. Most notably in the past week I've seen "Little Homie's" and "Slow Rider." - Is there any wonder taxis put a bad idea in my mind?

So, look through any yellow pages and you're bound to get a laugh. So far I've also gotten laughs off of:
"Back Door" - ok, no explanation needed
"Canine" - driven by Benji
"Super Josh" - I just get the picture of a coworker in a cape
"Recession Ride" - what kind of hoopity on a donut will be picking you up?
"Tin Cab" - driven by the Jolly Green Giant

Memory Lane Monday

Cuddles make you feel better?

JJ has always been a very lovable child, constantly wanting hugs and kisses. Now, it's cuddles, which he tells me will make me feel better, and like any self-respecting emotional mommy, of course they will.

So, there we are, all cuddled up, him cradled in my lap like he was just born, his arms wrapped around my back. Can't help but think things change, and I tell him he still fits. "What mommy, in my pj's." No honey, in my arms!

An AHHHHH moment

John took the kiddies to school and daycare for me today. Since I had some time on my hands I highlighted my hair and showered. When I came out all I could think was I had to check on the kids, they were too quiet (tends to happen when they are about 20 miles away.) John came home for lunch and we had our 1st uninterrupted meal together in SO long. Guess there's gotta be some good point to being stuck at home. Least he loves me, swollen, teary, red eye and all.

A change needed?

So, let's see, in the past 8 months or so I've caught pneumonia, brought H1N1 home to hubby, and now I have pink eye. I seriously think a job change is in order, one in which I will not be constantly exposed to more things than the normal human.

Memory Lane Monday

A friend brought this back up on her blog, figured I'd play along......

toes in the sand.....

Can't wait til it actually gets warmer to really enjoy the beach with the boys! But last saturday we had a great day to spend a little time on the beach with great friends. Can't wait til the season really starts!

That's not a wallet or a purse.....

When out in public and a woman pulls a wallet or cards out of her bra, I want to scream that's not a purse! I cringe to watch as a stranger to this woman has to take whatever is being handed to her. I get the willies just thinking about it. Come on, a dark, sometimes dank, area! It's one thing if you are hiding money there on a shopping trip, but to use your boobs as a general carry all, uh, no thank you.

Hit the beach

We are going to visit friends tomorrow at the beach. It's always a treat to see friends, they are truly wonderful people! And it gives us an opportunity to get some Thrashers and Candy Kitchen (I'm addicted to their fudge!) It's supposed to be really nice, with temps hitting 85 there. I've been truly antsy to go all week. Can't wait for the boys to have a blast. This will of course be the baby's 1st time to put his feet in the sand, and Day's 3rd time for being there ever (the 2nd was Winterfest of Lights, a quite different type of beach trip.)

Out of the mouth of a 17 year old....

Day and I were talking tonight about his dad. I had made a comment "when your kids ask about their grandfather....." And he said he will tell him their grandfather is John.

What a way to bring tears to my eyes!

I don't ever want him to close the door to his family, but it's nice that we are his family too!

Why always the weekend?

How come Monday through Friday we have to drag the kids out of bed, but on the weekends they wake up on their own accord, even earlier?

Spring weekends

Anyone remember, way back when we were in school, the week would be gorgeous, then the weekend rolled around.... cold or rainy.

It's happening again.

Least now I have the foresight to know it WILL get and stay warmer. (Just wish it was sooner!)

And maybe, it's natures way of saying rest up from a hectic week.

I find myself asking....

Are you proud of me? I try my best, sometimes I stumble, many times it's because my foot is in my mouth. But with everything I do, I always ask, mom, are you proud of me? I wish I could personally share good news, like today's phone call and mailed invitation that we were chosen as Foster Parents of the Year for Somerset County, but I know you are here with us for each and every moment, and I hope, with every breath, I'm all you wanted for me to become.

Silly rabbit...

Anyone else feel bad for the rabbit, being told for decades that Trix are just for kids? It's CEREAL, give the bunny a break and let him have some! Really now, what about equality? The bunny has the bowl, but because he's not like you, you snatch it right out of his hands? Lovely message for our kids. (Sorry, I'm just in a weird mood.)

ask and you shall receive.....

I remember a couple times, when times must've been tough, something came up to change the situation, and my mom would say that when you live right God always provides. I'm taking the offer I got today as I'm doing something right. Maybe it's ego-centric to think that way, but I really appreciate the opportunity, one that came to me by no initiation of my own, as a sign that something is being done right in our household (since it came at a time when things are going right for John as well.)

Memory attachments

Have you ever noticed how some things just have memories attached to them? How you will hold or smell something and think of someone?

I can't open a can of peaches or chew Juicy fruit gum without thinking of my "Popeye." Someone mentions asparagus and I automatically recall my mom retelling the story of me saying how I wanted to have "those funny green beans" more often. Strawberries make me think of all the times we'd go picking for my birthday, and how I'd normally get so sick from eating more than I put in the basket. I sit and color with JJ and think about the books upon books that my grandmother kept for ALL of us grandkids to color in (and since I was the last, those books were quite old, and quite colored in, by the time I got to use them.) I look at checkers or eat the white of sunny-side up eggs and think of my grandpop.

I think of all the little, mundane things we touch daily in life and how we unconsciously attach people to those things in our brains.

It makes me wonder all of the inconsequential things in our lives that will leave an impression on my boys and make them think of me.

The things you can't plan our are the things that make the biggest, lasting impact.

Spoiled?

This seems to have come up a lot lately....

Day told me today he's been told at school that he's spoiled. I remember what my mom told me, it's just jealousy, and yeah, that's probably what he's facing. We do live in a poorer (high taxed) area, so what he has is more than a lot. But it's not more than he deserves. It's just a shame because all those other kids deserve it just the same, all kids do.

Now myself, I was told this week by a coworker I was spoiled. Not in a bad conversation, someone else asked where I got a necklace, told her John got it at Friedman's for Valentine's Day for me. She said she got 1 on Canal Street (NY) for her daughter, a Tiffany knock-off. That's where I saw the style myself and asked for 1. That same night I came home later than normal, John asked me what I was eating, then offered to go get me Chinese. Yeah, I guess I am. And I thank God for John every day! After being the center of my Mom's world, I would be lost now if I didn't have him to dote on me. My Mom used to tell me all the time growing up that I was spoiled, just not rotten (she said I appreciated what I was given.)

It's a shame that the word has to have such a bad meaning behind it. Being given things in life does not come with the price tag of having a bad personality. Being self-centered or having a sense of entitlement is taught, and unfortunately, and those attitudes are across all economic brackets!

So, ok, I'm spoiled, and I see nothing wrong with any of my boys being the same!

Dreams for his future

Our oldest wants to be a NCIS agent. I think it's wonderful, how many of us knew with such conviction what we wanted to be. Sometimes we tease him, we'll call him Probie, for those that don't want the show it's the new guy, who also happens to be the techie. I guess it stands for "probation."

But this weekend while driving he and I were talking about it. He asked me if I thought it was stupid. Of course I told him no! Why would it be? I have family that was FBI, Secret Service, Capitol Police, NYPD, and of course John who was a police officer for local, state and federal agencies.

But it got me to thinking about it, just how many times was he told his dreams were stupid, or God forbid, that he was?

So, I've called my friend's parents (who John was also a cop with in Cambridge). I've asked when he's back state-side for him to give me a call to see if he will meet with Day. See, right now, he is NCIS, stationed in Guam. Not only do I want Day to see that an average Joe (yah, literally his name is Joe) can do it, so can he. But I'd also like Joe to tell him what classes to take, what he wishes he did, and what he thinks he could have done without.

A friend recently told me an amazing quote: "Your dreams aren't high enough if someone doesn't laugh at them."

I want all of my boys to place their dreams amongst the stars, and in the end, THEY will be the ones laughing!

Coloring....

Is there anything more peaceful than a child coloring? (Especially when it is not on your chair or wall?)

Is there anything more touching then when given the present of a freshly colored page?

Is there anything else to make a child feel special and loved that moment than hanging their creation on the fridge?

For my Christian friends

A close friend is trying to get her daughter into a private school. 1 of the requirements is to write an essay on when she found God. It made me think, how would I write that?

My answer would be that I didn't have to find God, He was given to me.

I was raised being allowed to go to any church that I wanted, whenever I wanted. Though of course with family that was mostly Catholic Churches. But, I find that totally different than having God in my life.

My Dad raised me with many scripture teachings, to the point in freshman English I knew what my professor was trying to say a certain books theme was; he really should have taught Theology. Even that isn't fully what I mean by being given God.

I was given God in my family. I was given complete, unconditional love. I was given a wonderful family with a fantastic childhood. Being raised with such warmth put in my head how much greater the love God has for me, to have given me so much. I look outside and see the trees, flowers, grass, animals - and think what a wonderful church He created himself, with not a beam, pew, or sound system. And what greater public speaker could there be than He himself? I was told to have a direct relationship with Jesus, and in turn, God himself. When I've had tough times I never blamed God or felt shunned, He didn't do the things to me or "allow" them to happen. He was there for me the whole time. When something wonderful happens I enjoy the moment and give thanks for the opportunity, hoping to share the joy.

It's not something I could easily write in an essay because it is ultimately indescribable.

But I do wonder, how would others explain themselves in this essay? Would they be able to sit down and pound out an clear cut answer? Or do others have a hard time finding the appropriate words to describe such an awe-some relationship they "found?"

5th month

Hard to believe Jamir has been with us for 2 months already! He's such a happy baby! We are spoiling him, it's hard not to hold him (and you all know we did the same with JJ.) His Social Worker said we were giving him high expectations, but you know, he should have them! All kids should!

Gonna do something for myself.....

I did say my New Year's Resolution was to do more for myself! And John's been so wonderful offering up times! From the scrapping days with friends, upcoming outlet shopping with just the girls, letting me plan a girls weekend away (guilt free) and even offering to take off & keep the boys so I could go to an adult-only family function next weekend. I love that he's been so supportive. It's not that he wasn't before, I just didn't ask that much.

I've always wanted to do Glamour shots, and a friend's friend is a local photographer who will do them at a much better price than the actual stores, and IMO, her pictures just POP. I also love that her style is so close to my secret desire for the 50's pin-up style pictures! But she doesn't just do the type of pics on her page, she's amazing with kids too!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Snow-Hill-MD/Sweetest-Sin-Photography/298665926327?ref=mf

On that same note, I also already know who will be doing Day's senior pics next year. Her natural light photography is gorgeous, such a soft effect! She's the talent behind the pics I've posted here of JJ and bragged on her about. I want to get family pictures done once the weather gets nicer and all the colors come out. Gotta get on the ball and get up with her soon!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Salisbury-MD/Bluebug-Photography/25084127940?ref=mf

There's so much local talent!

not why we foster.....

I just want to put out there, we are not fostering so I can stay home. I am not quitting my job. I like what I do, who I work with, and I think I'd go crazy home again, I was really close the last time, and as John can tell you, probably about to take him with me. It's also not for the money, anyone with a teenager can tell you that they are expensive, I can assure you the money goes right back to the kids. We don't turn in mileage vouchers or reimbursements for the trainings that we could be paid back for. That is NOT the reason we are doing this! Even John's "acting supervisor" made an off-hand comment about how we aren't raising the kids because we are being paid for them! WTF?! This man has 5 kids of his own, but its telling to the type of Dad he must be! I know some people might mean well, they aren't trying to be crass, but it still bothers me. Do we really seem like THAT types? I guess all-in-all, it kinda offends me.

We are doing this because we want to help and we have room in our family to add-on. We get so much out of this emotionally, which I have thanked our Social Worker for. I stand by the fact that anything you do in life is for selfish purposes, even helping others, it's because it gives you pleasure or purpose. So, yeah, it's self-serving, but not the way some people think. There's much more to life than money, I wish others felt the same way! Our government puts the value on those pieces of paper, but they could not place the value on what we have in our household.

Ok, thanks for listening. I feel better for the rant (again.)

Public Speaking

I always hated public speaking. When I had to give oral reports in school I cringed. My 5th grade graduation speech stunk, I was so nervous. In college to make things slightly easier I'd pick off the wall topics, giving myself some bravado, that the topics would be a little more interesting (sexual education, transmissions of diseases sexually, bilingual education and myths.)
So, now, Social Services has asked me to speak twice for them this month! The 1st is to help teach a class on Lifebooks, basically photo albums for children in placement which DSS wants foster parents to do with/for them. I'm excited about that one, I love scrap-booking, as I think is pretty clear. I've always loved photos, its memories of happy times and when you have a picture of someone, it means they hold some importance in your life. I think Lifebooks is a great things for kids, it can give them a sense of history, but also a sense of belonging.
The 2nd request is to speak at a PRIDE class. Those are the same classes we went through 2 years ago to become foster parents. Our social worker asked us to speak to share our experiences. John will unfortunately be out of the state until later that same night, but I'm all game to go in there with the 3 boys and tell the other parents what a wonderful opportunity they have in front of them, how much they will get out of it!
While I look forward to both opportunities, I'm also still a little nervous. I don't know these people, they don't know how I'm kinda quirky. Will they take me the wrong way? Will I just flub up because of butterflies? Think I better read up on public speaking some.
But, I do have to say, I feel very honored to be asked to do these 2 things!

Some scrap pages...

I haven't posted scrap pages in awhile! Here's some digi-pages I've done recently:

The Duggars news - I take offense

Someone brought it up at work, then I saw the magazine at the grocery store. People are asking when is it too much, basically stating the Duggars should stop having kids. What right do they have to question it? They aren't popping the babies out, they aren't putting a roof over their heads or food in their bellies. They aren't waking up in the middle of the night for a fever, a nightmare, or just to nurse. And their tax dollars aren't paying for the children either! The Duggars sustain themselves, sheesh, your tax dollars aren't even going to educate them, they are all home-schooled! My grandparents did it, they had 21 kids, raised 20, all without public-assistance, and yes, it was available back then. And do you know how friggin AWESOME it is to be a part of such a large family? Not just for family get-togethers, but also in the hard times, there's always someone there for you, you know you're never alone! I was so glad to share my family with John, he used to thank me after family affairs, something he hadn't really had. I'm thrilled that its something I can share with the boys and any other kids that come into our lives! It's a blessing that no one else can understand unless you've lived it and quite frankly, anyone else can just butt their opinions out! Sorry, I do take it personally, its as if they are talking about MY family at the same time.

Now, you want to complain, focus on the Octo-mom, go right ahead, your tax dollars are supporting her kids - ie, her plastic surgery addiction. 14 kids and she wants more for everyone else to support.

The baby

The little guy (nicknamed Booger, just for fun since JJ is Goober) is just so precious! He's gaining weight now that he's eating at level and the crying turned into constant smiles! Of course we're all attached! Anyone would be! It will be so hard to see him go if the judge decides he will go back to mom next week. But, we knew this getting in, and there will be more kids. We're going to get attached if we are to be the home life that DSS wants for these kids! Until the next child is placed with our family I will just focus on helping DSS teach the Lifebooks class next month as well as looking into "field trip" opportunities like the one to Medieval Times that I passed the info to our Social Worker on. It's so rewarding, like buying Day his 1st professional pics last month and planning his 1st Easter basket in April! I love these kids and I know we are blessed to have this opportunity to share our home and lives with them!

Snow, snow and more snow

I went in to work yesterday for all of 30 minutes, thankful I went in because I got paid for the full day without having to use personal or vacation time! I'm off once again today! Yah! An extra "weekend" with the guys! I'm really sick of the snow though, it has been going on way too long! We couldn't get together with my family before Xmas because of it and we've yet to have our family time! The past couple weekends we were stuck in the house, and while I love my job it still felt bad to only be able to go to work then be stuck home on my days off. The boys are enjoying it, but it also means with each snow day from school 1 more day before we leave in the summer to see my brother in Texas. I'm really not meant for it, out of 6 kids I'm the only one stuck where it hits? Where temps get so low? And of course, I'm the one with no insulation. Sheesh, the cold even followed us to Florida at Xmas! Oh, well. Looks like we will get more Monday so I'm just going to suck it up and deal. I do admit, it is pretty, but that's all I will concede.

Day off

How come a day off feels SO much different than a weekend? I'm home today, school and daycare were both closed for our foster-sons. Honestly, I was scared to go on the roads anyway, all the news said this morning was how they were all ice and snow on the backroads, the main roads were just "ok." I love working, but its not worth a life! So, I'll enjoy an extra day home with the 3 guys.
While watching morning TV the only thing I can think is how much I don't care about Brad & Angelina's relationship. Like my mom, I don't like them as it is, but for different reasons. Of course the fidelity issue doen't help them, but all I think is how charity begins at home and not 1 child have they adopted from their own country. They could be such role-models and help the waiting children here, but instead to me they seem to go after internation attention. Ok, I know, I'm being rather harsh, but I feel just a little cynical about Hollywood.

Fun firsts....

There's nothing better than having Day tell me we need to have the candied sweet potatoes more often, they are REALLY good. Then after he had his 1st snow-cream he tells me how he needs to have the "recipe" so when he goes out he can do it too. They are both foods that have memories of my mom attached, so it makes it all the sweeter knowing I'm carrying on her love!
Now can't wait to get out tomorrow and hopefully build a snowman! John and I are going to have to take turns out with Day & JJ, so 1 of us is in the house with Jamir of course. There's nothing better than having so many people to share your life with, having so many people who want to share their lives with you too!

My mother's daughter

When my husband tells me that dinner was "good, really good actually" I can't help but get a little glow, a happiness from not only knowing I did something for my guys, but it was something they appreciated, its a double treat! It's the same feeling when I hand a piece of jewelry over to a friend that I made, it makes me feel good to not only do something nice for someone I care about, but to know they like it makes it feel all the more special! Now I know why my Mom took all the time cooking, making pillows, doing alterations, etc. for family and friends. My dad was wrong, she wasn't allowing anyone to take advantage of her, she had her own motives/motivations, and they were all good for all involved!

Hope he/she is happy.....

There's someone out there walking around with my foster-son's MP3 player and ear buds. I hope it makes them feel special, stealing 1 of the few possessions a child has had for them self. That's ok, your due will come, karma is a puta, and you know, its all good, you just gave my boy a lesson on taking care of things so that when he has bigger and brighter things than you in life he will know their worth, he will know to appreciate them. Again, thanks, enjoy your ill-gotten gains. Hope it shorts out in your ears.

Where you going to wear that to?

Went through a couple outfits where John kept asking where was I going to wear this or that to. I listened and would give things away. He said it 1 last time a few months ago. I told him not to worry about it, I'd wear it to the mall or where-ever else I wanted. We arrived separately to JJ's birthday party, he didn't see this til I walked in. He was not complaining! I am done worrying about what anyone thinks about my clothes, him included! Wish I would've felt this way in school!