We have a date....

It has been 20 months since Jammers came into our home. Months on trying not to get attached, futile attempts, as anyone could imagine. Guilt for wanting him because it meant someone else lost him. Fear when he was sick or fell. Love when he calls my name. Pride at the little things he has done. It's cumulated to this, tears when proof-reading the petition because of what it meant. More gratitude than I can express from the simple call from our lawyer with a date. I have a box of tissues set aside, waiting, because I know I will be a mess!

A lot going on

Things have been a little hectic this week, dealing with teen angst of two boys, each different in their own way, the eager anticipation of Jammer's adoption (and I'm not a patient person) and we have been trying our best to help out a neighbor who is going through a lot medically and emotionally. I am VERY relieved that we found a home for his dog, I was so worried what it would do to him to take her to the pound!
It has taken a lot out of me, I feel drained. Not that I would regret doing anything in any aspect, each person has value to me and I would do whatever I could for them, I just didn't realize how much energy it was taking until yesterday. I was a little relieved when a social worker called me back and said they didn't need us to take in a two-month old baby. I could never say no, and yes, I do sorta want another baby to care for, but right now it would have really stretched me.
I'm definitely going to need some time to decompress.

Craft Lift - zipper bracelet

This was SO easy and quick to make. First cut off any material around the zipper. I've seen others burn the remaining off, but I left mine, and I'm glad I did. Not only does it add character (and color depending on what zipper you use) but it also was what I used to attach the clasp. Next cut it to the desired length you want, keeping in mind the zipper pull itself will be part of the length. At the end you cut carefully remove some of the teeth, exposing some of the material. I used super glue to then make the material all one "clump" which then goes in the attachment end of the lobster clasp, and I glued that for extra measure. The lobster clasp attaches to the zipper pull to close the bracelet. Add charms, and viola - a funky bracelet ;) *If you get the perfect length zipper and do not need to cut you can try drilling a small hole in the bottom part of the zipper to attach the clasp to*

Nightmares - the wolf

I often have nightmares associated with something happening and I am not with my boys. The feelings linger for days afterward. I've had alien invasion dreams where I am with John but across town, trying to figure how to be with my boys. I have had natural disaster dreams where once again, I was desperately trying to get to them. It is always before court. I know it reflects the helplessness I feel in regards to Day & Jammers. And yes, a few days ago I was served a summons for court for Day coming up. And we are waiting for a court date for Jammers. So I really shouldn't be surprised of my dream last night.
My dad was driving a large SUV down the road we lived on growing up, my mom sitting front passenger, I was behind her and behind my dad was supposed to be Jammers, I knew I saw him in his car seat next to me then he was gone. We drove up to our old house looking for him and there was a pack of beagles barking, which is comfort to me because my dad bred beagles. I was about to get out of the truck when a LARGE (I'm talking as large as the SUV) gray & white wolf comes up to the door. My mom had been about to get out as well and "Prissy" jumped out. Not her Prissy, but my dad's current white dog who he also calls Prissy. I am opening and closing my door so my mom can get the dog and close her door, because the wolf seems fixated on me. I woke up not long after.
I looked it up and the wolf would "reflect an uncontrollable situation or an all-consuming force in your life." I can put that on my mom's death, my dad's life so far away, and of course Jammers. Losing a child signifies feeling overwhelmed. Well, that's a given with teen angst, sick little ones, being sick myself, upcoming dates, etc.
I couldn't believe how well it fit.

Christmas

Yes, I know, it is more than 3 months away, and I'm a slacker and haven't started shopping. I'll get to it, not too worried. There's a lot going on and I don't want to shop absent-minded. Instead, I will do a double-fold purpose and craft. There are some that we don't exchange with, instead we do White Elephant, which if you haven't done before, it really is a lot of fun with a group - pulling numbers on who gets to pick a present out of the pile that everyone brought (which buying is half the challenge because you have a spending limit and you have to get something others want.) You get to "steal" anything someone else picked before you, the first person gets to do that last if they want.

While we enjoy this, I still don't like not doing something for family and crafting is the perfect solution. No one can get on me for spending $, I get to do something with my idle hands, and I get the joy in seeing someone I love (hopefully) enjoy what I made.

So far, I have started on the symbols of Christmas in an ornament. Looks good so far ;)I will post once they are complete. I will be keeping one for our own tree!

Design lift - large initial

I won't call this a craft because all I did was paint the "M" but I've been coveting the idea all the same. Now I see John is right, no place for one of those black iron work clocks. At least there.....

JJ loves Tuesdays

A boy after my own heart, when JJ asked what special class he had at school today, I told him he was Art. I think people outside the truck could hear his excitement. It's in his blood, his pop-pop's family is full of artists; painters, sculptors, builders, crafters, etc. His mom-mom was awesome with a sewing machine and her landscaping was always a masterpiece!
JJ loves to sit down with me whenever I am making jewelry or scrap-booking. The crayon box is out every day, never fails.
Looks like all the craft projects we are always picking up has made a mark on him.

Craft-lifting - Deconstructed Pull Tee Scarf

This is actually the second one of these I made. Pick a tee shirt you no longer want, but is still in good shape. Cut a straight line from below one arm to the other. You can go lower if the tee has a design you do not want on the scarf. On the side you cut begin cutting straight up to what would have been the hem. A good width is the width of your pinkie-nail. Cut 2-4" to the hemmed side. Do this on both sides, all the way across. Do not worry if you mess up and cut uneven, resulting in some strings coming off. Once complete pull the strings that you have cut. I prefer to do this together, less chance of pulling any ones off that you cut too thin. Voila!

Remebering 9/11

A lot of people have memories of 9/11, and yes, I will always remember watching the news, seeing the planes hit, and watching the buildings collapse, thinking to myself that I just watched thousands die.

But the memory that stinks with me brighter, is later in the week when I drove to pick Brandon up above Baltimore. Seeing all the flowers and flags hung from over-passes. Looking at all the people lined up holding candles.

And I think that is fitting that while I will never forget the horror of the day, the memory of our patriotism at the atrocity stands out more.

I just wish we all still felt as strongly and didn't need an anniversary date to show our spirit!

Craft-lifting - Scrabble family

I have coveted the different Scrabble tiles names and words, some people even incorporating pictures into their creations. I decided to just do words along with our name, out of necessity since my game box only had one "J." The tiles are glued to the outside of the glass so the paper inside the frame can be changed out as desired, though the frame would have fit them inside if I needed to do it that way. The frame is just a plain wooden frame spray-painted, which is also so easy to change colors at will.

Too long

I have been horribly remiss in posting. So much has been going on. I also know I have missed a great many posts by friends. Day continued to do great in school, 3.5s the last 2 semesters, putting him on the Principal's Roll, the highest honor roll. He started his senior year a few weeks ago, while JJ started kindergarten. They've been such a blessing to share with! I will post more later, for now I will just update myself on everyone else's posts!